My thoughts on...

Micheal Guglielmucci,

After sometime, I began to really think about it. Let's see how long will I ramble about him.

I first saw and met the man at the Planetshaker conference of 2004 at Sunway Convention Hall, Malaysia. It was there, I began to know Planetshaker and my passion for their songs grow.

However, when I began to grow older, I slowly began moving to worship songs over their fast-paced praise songs. From there, I find that Hillsong produce better worship song (my last album I got was Never Stop).

It was actually two years ago, when I found out that Micheal Guglielmucci was stricken with a cancer disease. My heart when out to him. I remember hearing the song "Healer" and was like awe-struck that a man who was stricken with cancer was able to write songs like "Healer" and a few praise songs. I mean, I would have a hard time finding myself to praise God when I was stricken with cancer.

When I heard news that he was recovering I was happy. Despite seeing some people on youtube saying his liar, I couldn't care less since a man is being saved now through faith healing. Then the news came out a few weeks back, when he has completely told a lie to us all.

He wasn't stricken with cancer...

To me, when I received the news, I wasn't like totally shocked. I don't know why but I was okay. He lied to us. So what? He's still a human.

On a side note, when I first received the news, I question whether or not more people will know Jesus. I had this bizare thinking that because what Mike did, he probably had more people coming to know Jesus. When I thought of it, would we give up our good name for people to come to Jesus? I would actually call this an ultimate sacrifice. Since the Bible has said that a good name is better than riches. I call this method also unorthodox since it kinda touches on an area which is very sensitive.

It's like if I do this, my name will forever be seen as bad. However, I do saved lots of people at the sametime. However, some people might accept badly and reject the gospel. Using this is kinda like two-shaped sword (not sure is that the term, but it means the plan can backfire).

When the news came out, I talked to a few people and one of them was Crystal Cha.

I enjoyed the conversation since it's nice to have a good talk about things like these and I would called it really an "intellectual" talk. Not that the rest I talked with other people are not intellectual but it's great to have someone like Crystal talked about her viewpoint. I find Crystal one of the most wise people I have met and she's younger than me. So for one to be wiser than you at a younger age is a really blessing.

When I asked her about the hoax, she said that she wasn't that surprise that the hoax came out. Since being a pastor does indeed have a lot of pressure and expectation on one person. She finds it too sudden for him to be sick and he writes a song about it. She goes on that every person (including Christians) is tempted all the time by fame and money.

Even our Lord Jesus, was tempted by the Devil to thrown himself from the temple of God to gain fame and if he bow down to the Devil, he will give all the cities that he owned. This is recorded in the book of Matthew (guys can find it yourself :) since some of us are too lazy to open the Bible, now is the chance).

Going out slightly out topic...

Both of us (Crys and me), find that Planetshakers has really became too focus on the idea of hyping up the atmosphere on worship. Not that is bad and all, but it's just that both of us finally settled down and enjoy the quiet and powerful worship songs. Personally when she compared them with Passion Worship Band, she finds them so much more humble and really no need to create a hype to make the crowd praise and worship God.

As for me, why I like worship songs is that where you can just worship God and the power is there when I worship. I feel like that's the whole point of worship and if I were to looked back at myself 7 years ago, I can say that I have changed. When I was young, I always like praise songs since it was full of movement and so on. But, one time during a worship celebration at my church, I saw an older friend of mine, singing a praise song with her eyes closed like total worship. This makes me question why she does that. Since praise songs are "normally" meant to hype out the worshippers.

As time progress on, I slowly find myself liking worship songs. Maybe it was the constant Quiet Time, or maybe I had such a great leader who impacts my life to be changed. Is just by listening to some of them, you can really just start reflecting and began to feel God's presence. Now, when I'm doing my Quiet Time, I would just play worship songs and just basked myself in the presence of God. Also one of wishes, is that one day I could be the drummer for the songs that being played.

Back to Mike,

I for one, am glad that he confess his sins. Even it will create lots of backlash; I think that his conscience is cleaner now. Imagine if he when out with the lie, how long more before he will finally confess? If it prolonged, how many more would be hurt by him? How many more will be shocked and be angry with him? I applaud him for coming clean with the lie and his addiction with pornography. It takes real guts to actually come out and say everything. What I believe is the conviction of the Holy Spirit and through the song he wrote are the main reasons why he chooses to end the lies.

However, searching online about articles about him. I am surprised that churches like Hillsong and Planetshakers have began to cut off (literally) from their churches. Even Planetshakers have begun to remove his name from most of their albums.

To check what I have said visit here

I am not happy about this. Why? Just because he has done wrong does not mean you get to remove all traces about him. The songs that are previously written by him are still strong and meaningful. I can say that songs are neither good nor bad. It's how you accept them and allow them to speak to you. Some like the song "Healer" is just so meaningful. How often can we really sing about healing when there are so many people who need it?

I find this disgraceful for the church of Planetshakers and Hillsong to remove anything to do with Mike. Even the head of Planetshakers Church has stressed over and over again that he doesn't know a single thing about Mike's hoax. Now, I find it funny since they could have like accompany him to the hospital, to the doctor's room and read the results together. It shows that sadly nobody couldn't care to enter the doctor's room with him. Sad but true. Also, a church that big will need accountability. What happen to that? Shouldn't the Planetshakers church have at least formed an accountability group with him in one?

Here's a blog post concerning taking responsibility for Mike, here

I'm here not to condemn the church of Planetshakers, I am here to tell what they could have done at least. Not to mention only Planetshakers is removing his name from their album, but even Hillsong is recalling all their copies of "This is Our God" and removing the track "Healer" from the album.

Since when the church has been so fussy about face? If it's in an Asian culture, then it's understandable but the damage is done. Why bother wasting time and money removing his name from the album when there are other things to be done?

I'm going to close soon, (feels like a sermon XD) but yeah, I also noticed that too many people are still focusing on what he has done. Sure, we might feel angry and hurt and not to mention shocked on the news. However, enough is enough; I urged people who read this post to forgive Mike as he is only human and so are you who read this and me. The next thing to do is to help him out in his problem. Isn't a church supposed to support their members when they are faced with trials and persecution?

It will only hurt Mike more if the church members choose to ignore him and refuse to help him. When that happens, are we any better? Isn't our duty as a Christian to help one another and also forgive not once but seven times seven and times it again? As I close this post, I just want to finally say that even we Christians, do fall short of the glory of God.

We are not super human who can simply resist sin and the temptation of the flesh. We ARE real people who grow through wanting to be in a social group, wanting to have attention to us. Never, assume that Christians are perfect people. We are still humans who strive for perfection in our race with Jesus.

And finally, to Micheal Guglielmucci, I give my respect to you for coming clean after two years and that you bothered to actually say it with everyone or rather to the world. My respect goes to a man who DARED to be REAL and BOLD to do so. Even some people might not respect you, despise you, know that by God's grace, we can live our lives and still be a pleasing to God.

Amen.

Phew, there goes my longest post. Now a few words who read this, I don't really expect a feedback but this post is different, I sincerely hope that you will give me feedback about the whole post. From the content of it to my grammar (I know it's not first grade) to constructive criticism about my style of writing which might to messy. I started at 1:00am on October the 11th and finish it only at 3:21am. So be a dear and leave me a feedback yeah?

-ZS-

*EDIT*

Sorry guys, just double-checked, it said that Hillsong is removing the song "Healer" in any future releases of their album "This is Our God".

Also, at their offical site which is here, you can see that the song "Healer" is no longer there for downloads. Again, I apologize for not double-checking.

My eye...

Damn, my left eyes is irritated like mad, feels like something is poking it. It leaves a quick and painful feeling in the left eye when I moved it too much. I dunno what caused it, I only know that it started like Thursday.

One of the most annoying pain I had in awhile. I could say I rather have the muscles aches rather over this. Bah, I don't feel like updating anything more since it hurts now.

ZzZZZZzzzZZ

Twice I felt this...

Sometimes I ever do wonder why I let myself to pull out the knife that is in my heart? While the wound heals, it plunges again into my heart.

I felt this so long ago, never did I want to feel this again. Yet somehow, twice I felt that something I have grown to love be taken away from me again.

Then this brings the question on why should I seek companionship in this love that I have nurtured. Twice it has come, only this time I felt that it more personal. And if I attempt to join it, I feel that I should not since, the saying "three's a crowd" comes to my head.

Which makes me wonder sometimes why I'm always alone? As life in this world progress on, I wonder, I realize that the closer I get with someone, the harder or rather the pain when they separate and move on. As a think of it, I realize most of my frens whom I grew attach with often moved on so fast that I'm left out.

And then I hear this very small voice on the back of my head saying "You'll always be alone." It whispers me to yet hit the hardest. How I long for a companionship that can really last and yet I can always tell. But for this problem can't be shared to that person for the problem lies with me and the problem is about the person.

How it turns out to be a pain that I just want to walk away and never return. How I wish I could just turn off my feelings and not care. How I just want to... be loved and to love one another...

My two attempts...

So my last two days at attempting to eat Carl's Jr. has failed miserably

Why? It's because of those BLASTED MALAYS who go there and order their food and like stare at them until 7:20PM.

For goodness sake people, why not you just go take it away. I don't care if you have to screw your fast plans but will it be too hard for you like to NOT eat there? There are people LIKE me who has yet to taste of 1 of this delicious burgers and you all crapped up like tuna or sardines to be slaughtered in there.

Blargh, that said also I don't get to eat it anyway. Two whole days stuck in the jam towards MV with Nas and Gal. All hopes gone down the drain those two darn days. I blame Nas for the first attempt for finishing her work late XD.

Well, on a positive side, Gal and me saw a hailer person around. She was so intentively eating that she didn't notice both of us infront of her :P

And I also bought a new CD which I wanted for sometime.
If you guys can't recognize her, then no worries, she's a Jap artist. So to those who don't listen to J-pop need not to be ashamed XD.

Her name is Yuna Ito, I like her music cuz it's kinda like a erm how would I say it, has a positive upbeat in her music and yeah it's nice to have a break away from Ayumi and BoA sometimes.

Hey, even Gal listens to her music, so yeah that means Gal has good taste of music to those who question my taste of music. And he listen to like to quite some of the updated songs on the radio now unlike me who listens to my iPod wherever I go.

Anyway, I can't really stress much, since I have hunger pangs now. On a last note...

Next time Carls Jr.. Next time I WILL GET YOU!!!

Christianity 1500 years ago and today...

Okay the article for this update is actually in my CG's blog.

So click here to check it out.

I strongly encourage those who visit my blog to check it out. As Joel, is one of most influential in my life, his teachings are an eye opener. So do pay visit and read the article. Cheers...

My Chair....

So after 6-8 years of service, my wooden chair finally gave way. Thankfully, went I was sitting on it I could feel that the chair was slowly giving away.

Still it was weird have your chair "sinking" slowly. Must be how a person on a ship felt like when it was sinking.

What has really been eating up my time...

As the title says,

I have been actually spending at least a hour a day to do my devotion. Normally I would do up to two hours straight but is not often.

Why I have been focusing so much on it? Well I started with this goal at the beginning of the year to finish my church's devotion book. Normally my church will start the year with a new devotion book. This has been a tradition for the last 27 years I think. With that goal in mine, I pushed myself to do more devotion.

The reason why I have been pushing myself was that I have been slacking really far back. As of now I'm doing week 12 of my devotion and guess what? It's week 35.

That means 22 weeks = 154 days to catch up.

Phew, a long way to go eh?

Normally, I would journal my thoughts about the recent devotion that I do. So sometimes, there's a lot to write about and then I would have to read a few bible chapters for my Through-the-Bible Reading Plan.

What my devotion book does is that we go week by week a topic of a book in the bible. Like currently, I studying about the book of Isaiah. The devotion book will then go through the entire book in 7 days, picking up important verses. What I like about it, it's that rather simple reflections of the Bible.

It isn't really dry like some of the previous book that I read and lost my interest. I would actually encourage people to really do the book (even Marwan is doing it for you college lurkers). It's rather a simple daily reflection on just a verse.

The book is called Through The Bible, Through The Year

John Stott is without question one of the most beloved and significant pastors and authors of the last fifty years. Named by Time magazine in 2005 as one of the world's 100 most influential people as one of the 25 most influential evangelicals in America, Stott commands a huge following that defies his quiet demeanor.

Now, in Through the Bible Through the Year, Stott offers orginal, never-before-published reflections on the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. These daily readings take you through Scriptures with an emphasis on both the "big picture" of the story of God and the nature of God as Trinity. Christians seeking a stronger, holistic grasp on the Bible will treasure this work that overflows with wisdom gleaned from a life and reflection by an internationally beloved pastor and scholar.

*Extracted from back cover of the book*

A Repost by Surviving Lame Cat By Joel Lee

Before you read this poem, I thought that it would be helpful to let you know the background of this poem.One day while I was eating my dinner with my family outside, I looked out the door, and saw a cat.It's paw was bleeding, no... The cat actually lost a paw, and the joint where the paw was supposed to be was bleeding.

Before I could start feeling sorry for the cat, something more caught my attention.The cat was digging the ground, for food perhaps. It was a tar road. There is no food there.Perhaps a cat like that do not have much intellect to know that there will be no food beneath the tar road.Yet the cat's will to live convicted me. Yes, the cat have less intellect. Yes, it was probably animal insticts.But, the conviction came when I recall the moments when I started giving up in life when I meet obstacles.It reminds me of the time when I indulged in self pity. I throw a whole pity party, as if the world revolves around me.

A lame cat shamed me. It probably won't sound very grand, but this poem, is really written in honour of a cat.A lame cat. A lame cat that is probably more inspiring than 95% of earth's population."You" would refer to the cat.

You say, "There is more to life"
I say, "Then show me what is life"
Show me things you find
Really,I don't want to be left behind

Adventures you tell - I do wonder,
Reflecting on my life - I start to ponder,
If the highest high will be too high,
Or maybe,
Perhaps like you said, "It is nigh, it is nigh"

If life's a bet,
I'm reaching my final chips,
Remembering the lame old cat,
Really,
I wonder if I'm really reduced to bits.

But now that life's a snare
I can't even reach a tie
I don't think I'll ever care
Truly,
I'd rather try, or I'd rather die

Perhaps, the lame old cat is bright
It said, "Real life, is not yet out of sight
O God, I am wrong,
Now please,
Make me right.

Despite not being made by me. I think this post is really meaningful ya? How often have we complained how tough life is. Guess we shouldn't really say that until we become like the lame cat. Figurative speaking...

Reflections...

*Repost*

How often have I looked down on people who are of lower status of me. The status which I look down are when they have lower intelligence more towards people with "Down Syndrome" or people who are so call gifted in an optimist way.

But how many times can we look at them and really say to ourselves, "I going to love them". This is one of the weakest area that I try my best to improve myself in. Having a cousin who has makes an opportunity but is still a hard task to be done. This struggle is overwhelming sometimes as I look at them that we need to love them as Jesus loves us.

I can never imagine myself fathering one of them. The idea really scares me a lot. Yes praying about it and having faith on God can be one of the solution. But, is funny that if we think more about the idea, God might just decide to drop it on me since I have such experience before.

However, they are several things that I notice, they are rather the most easiest going people you can ever meet or speak to. They need not worry about their next meal or their studies and so on. I won't be surprise that they do know that their special but yet continue living their lives even without slightest worry and the fear of shame.

As we often compare to people who of higher standard in terms of wealth, fame, talents and intelligence, we should be thankful that we have a sound mind or perfect body that we can use.
It's one of the least thing that we do when we complain about our life.

Like the poem I read, a lame cat can shame us when we say

"I can't do this anymore"
"I quit... maybe someone might pity me"

Looking at that, when we have a perfect mind and body, complain that we cannot do this and that and we start making noise so that people may start having a pity on us. But truly, is that what we want? People to pity us? Or do you prefer that you don't have the problem that is in front of you? Or perhaps you want to have the ability or power to overcome the problem?

To me, I rather have the ability to overcome my problem rather than complaining out loud to everyone. I have actually nothing about complaining problems as I have done to some people. But I would normally only confine to a single person rather than a lot of people. I never did like to tell the world my problems, it makes me look pitiful and that I need everyone to hear about it.

Do we really need to be pity in the end? Indulging in self-pity like a big scoop of ice cream, do we really want that?

Results...

Okayyy.... I'll do a quickie update... since I have people rawring at me already...

What I got for this semester was

3 B+, 1 B, 1 D...

But hey, no failure... Guess that's a win for me...

*note to self, rant and pour out my anger on NOT going to Passion*

Bit down...

Bit feeling a bit more than the usual downess lately. It's this feeling where I get left out in a few things and there just kinda makes me feel erm left out. Sometimes, I struggle with my inner thoughts and wonder why am I being left out.

"Maybe I'm not really liked around."
"Maybe they find me too far to contact."
"Maybe I'm no longer wanted?"
"Maybe I grew distant?

This questions and statements tend to hound me whenever I feel left out. It's just sometimes I wonder why we even need friendships. As they tend to grow apart, as time take place. So far, I have yet to find one that really I mean really sticks to me and you know ask on how I am and catch-up.

It feels like I'm really alone sometimes and it's getting harder to deal with such things since the mind has a lot of more questions and possible answers. It's a pain to see friends going or hanging out with friends and you kinda watch from afar and wondered was it ever possible for me to be there with them and treated with like one of them?

I wondered if Grace felt it this way, but I know the ending for hers is a sad one. So how would I avoid such a end? It's always a pain to know that once the meeting or outing with friends is over, I feel that I probably will not have just great time with them anymore.

Maybe, it's after all this years of being alone and the feeling of being letdown too many times, that I became to always expect things to go downhill after a fun time? Maybe I am lack of attention that makes me feel this way. I'm rather tired and just wish I had some sort of emotional support that I can cling upon to.

Even I approached the exams and holidays with a heavy spirit knowing full well that I just won't be called out or even given a proper motivation for the next exams. It's just maybe that I'm mentally and physically stressed out inside of me.

I know I can place my hope in God, but honestly, I just don't feel like it. I think that doubt can play a role in such things.

Grief...

Today a friend of mine lost of one his good friends...

His name is Jason, a great friend who I come to know during our homeschool days. He lost a girl that he was interested in. I urged you all to visit his blog to give him words of encouragement and pray for his well being.

His link is here.

A song I found very meaningful during these times.

The song is called Held by Natalie Grant which introduce by Su Yen.



-ZS-

Influencial friends...

Today, being uber hyped. I went crazy and spam at various blog I visit. And passing by this blog by the name of Paul Leong(boyboy), I saw a nice blog post about friends. And said to myself "Awww so nice picture and so much dust on his blog." XD

So yeah, *drum roll*

AH CHU!!!


who is also the president of Life College... I mean the student council of Life College. Did I mention he also is a talented singer who has wrote Entangled the Musical and is currently helping out also in planning for our college camp and our college prom at the year end? Also he is talented pianist and chunted MASS COMM STUDENT???

Facts:

1. First friend to ever hit an archive on MSN chat history.
2. First friend to ever plan a holiday (but never came true. LOL)
3. First friend to be uber spontaneous to go watch a movie. (I mean come on who else can yes to 1 night before the movie and go the very next day.)
4. Likes to work and eat a LOT (OMG @@)
5. Enjoys Crys cupcakes and J.CO
6. Working on an album at err the age of 19? (None of circles of friend does that)
7. Loves to eat and has brought me to places that I can never imagined going there.
8. One of my most impacting friends when it comes to my studies.
9. Tend to be repetitive in MSN and during coursework (Your chats if u know what i meant, now put that pitchfork down.)
10. HAS a blog here.

Pheebs!!!

who is the uber smart girl from the CAVE!!! Is fun to hangout with if you stand her greatness and awesomeness. Still, she's fun to hangout with XD. And with great personality comes great erm erm BEAUTY XD.

Facts:

1. Okay la she's from Gombak to those who can't guess...
2. She sings darn well (makes me pathetic cuz I really can't sing that well ><)
3. She's smart!!! Always toping at every class. My dream is to be on par with her in terms of studies.
4. She's not single for those who wants to know...
5. Likes to play sudoku.
   
6. One of my few friends who sleep before midnight.
7. Maintains a very healthy diet which amazes to this day.
8. Likes MAMEE!!! (the junk food)
9. Also a great motivator and impact to my studies
10. She also has a blog but rarely updated sadly.

And next is Joel!!!

who is my ex- cell leader and a good friend in my spiritual life. Use to belong to Inti College University but has move on to University of New South Wales. He has an almost perfect record on his studies with majority A and a few B+ in Electrical Engineering (@@)

Facts:

1. Became my 2nd CG leader in CYZ.
2. Was one of the youngest leader to ever get such a position.
3. Won the Astro Scholarship
4. Speaks about VERY deep stuff. (We never did leave the CG unconfused before)
5. He likes to have a good debate
6. Always sees error in himself even though.
7. He's very real about himself, he tells her how hard he strives to be do his QT (Quiet Time)
   
8. Asks what looks like to be simple questions yet are hard to explain.
9. Has encourage to be a better character and almost my spiritual life.
10. He blog's here

And there we go I'm done. Even my mom is nagging about me blogging now @@

Cheers...

-ZS-


All pictures are taken from their respective blogs. I DO not owed them for I shall fear people flamming me. Please do not attack the blogger with pitchforks and grass cutter and all other sharp objects.

DUMC

PRESENTING D.U.M.C.



Main Sanctuary on 2nd September, 2007


Meh had this urged to promote my church... Cheers...

-ZS-

I live???

After having a constant nagging on the back on my head to update. I finally sat down and start doing a post again. Actually, I have lots to write about. I'm just lazy to organize them properly.

So what's been eating up my time? Well, I been spending rather a lot of time of playing games and reading a manga. So yeah for the last few weeks, I been doing that.

I been actually playing back FFIX. For those who don't know what it is. It's consider as one of the most popular RPG (Role Playing Games) series. For those who like to read it more, can do also at wikipedia. I actually got addicted to it since this is only one I haven't finish yet. That and counting FFX-2 and FFXII (I know I'm slow =.=). So yeah, that took plenty of my time, since I was playing on my laptop via an emulator program.

Also the manga that I was hooked on to was "Mahou Sensei Negima" by Ken Akamatsu. The author previous work was the famous "Love Hina" (to help those who just can't remember). Well, "Love Hina" is actually one the manga that is rather "ecchi" (Jap term for naughty or perv). However, there is no XXX or whatever scenes like that. It's just things that are like up skirt or crashing into the woman's bath (with humorous ways).

What's so great about of this manga, it's that has plan like an entire universe. The story is opens with young boy by the name Negima who is magi or a mage send to a Japanese all-girl school to teach them for a year. Here's an overview from wikipedia:

Overview

Negi Springfield is a ten year old wizard from Wales, who dreams of becoming a Magister Magi (Approximate Latin translation: "Master Mage"), a special wizard who uses his powers to help normal people using covers such as working for NGOs.

Negi's reason for becoming a Magister Magi is to find his father, Nagi Springfield, the legendary mage also known as the "Thousand Master" who many believe to be dead.

After graduating from the Merdiana Magic Academy in Wales, Negi is given a duty as a cover in the real world, and training, before he actually becomes a Magister Magi. That duty is to become an English teacher at Mahora Academy in Japan. The task will not be easy, however, as Negi will become a teacher to a Middle School class of 31 older girls, each very special in her own way. The series details his time and adventures in Japan as he gains acceptance and respect from his students, helps them in their problems, and faces magical threats from inside and outside Mahora Academy. His main relationship is with Asuna Kagurazaka, his student and roommate, who dislikes him initially but later accepts him as a friend and becomes his partner, helping find clues about his father and his life.

The series, while initially appearing to be another bishōjo work like Love Hina, has progressed into a mix of bishōjo, shōnen action, fantasy, horror, romance and comedy. Akamatsu stated that he specifically wanted to do something "different" than Love Hina. Negi himself is prepubescent, and many of his scenes with Asuna are specific subversions of the "awkward romantic scene" tendency of bishōjo manga, quickly diffused and only played for laughs. In addition, many of the girls are able to fawn over him in a childish sense without any romantic expectations from the reader.

In keeping with this style, Negi himself is seen as a contrast to Love Hina's Keitaro and other typical male leads of bishōjo manga. He is hardworking, capable, and treated kindly, but due to his appearance and age (well below most of his students), he feels completely non-threatening and finds it difficult to be taken seriously as a teacher; many of his students treat him as a cute little kid, if not a playmate.

What I enjoy about the series is that, Ken has planned out all 31 girl's character and their own personalities. I have to admit that even it is hard to go over 5 sometimes. The action is also well done, as when I was reading the first arc final battle I was taken at how huge the scale of the battle is. Also this is one of his longest work ever done, as it is now only the second arc of the storyline. Currently it is now at chapter 216 and so far show no signs of it ending yet. You can read them for free at www.onemanga.com

I recommend reading it when you have the time, since it can get you really hooked on it. Anyway that's all for now. Still lots to write, hopefully will done soon. Ciaoz...

-ZS-

Reflections

Don't you ever wonder why this blog has rarely have sort of emo entries? I can tell you why. This is because the author tends to think about this in his head rather than letting it all out. At times, he doesn't say because he either nowhere near a pen and paper to write or he's just bottled it up.

Why does the author bottled up his emotions? This is because he grew up learning to keep things inside. Is kinda like a reflex muscle or an automatic action he does to himself. The answer is simple: he grew up alone.

He didn't had a sibling to talk to much. He has only a "sister" who isn't his a biological one yet has to call her one. She's hard to talk to sometimes as she is ten years older and at times hard to talk to. Parents can't always relate to you the best answers. He didn't really trust in God and he didn't talk to Him often. Only offering mechanical prayer at times of needs. He envies people who has a great relationship with their siblings even though he knows sometimes they can be a pain. But yet, he yearns for one.

He grew weary about his friends. Wondering or not, is he really a person they want to pick around with? The author feels that another cycle is approaching. The same cycle he went through last year. He tries not to think about it, but yet his hearts is constantly being stabbed. As he types this out, he wonders how some of his friends didn't fulfilled their promises to him. That being said, he wonders again how some of his school friends have started to shun him away. Or maybe it was because he was not that important anymore?

At times he wonders whether or not, to simply just remain bottled up as usual. Somehow, he has survive this long years by putting it all up within him. Can he carry up with his life he wonders?

How he yearns for a good friend that can always be there at times. He thinks he has one but he isn't sure anymore. How he longs also for a sibling that looks up to him at times. But will he ever get one? Will he receive such attention?

He tried to find peace by reading the poem he put in his blog. Yet, he doesn't feel any better. He seeks songs that will lift him up. He finds the correct song but doesn't want to listen to it in fear of crying over a silly thing.

In the end, he just wants a friend who is there all the time...
A sibling that looks up to him and enjoys being in the company of him.
He years for companionship.........

That is how Yeow Zim Sen feels tonight...
In all,
he's tired of everything...
He needs someone that will help him out at times like these...

Notice!!!

Notice from the National Bank of Lala Land.

Dear Mr Yeow Zim Sen...

We have noticed you have an outstanding account of not sleeping which has yet not been payed in full. We sincerely hope that you will clear out your debts with us as soon as you can. If nothing will is done, this blog is therefore deleted and your sleeps will be unpleasant.

Thank you and regards,

Secretary of National Bank of Lala Land.
Tarnia Tionne.

Of random chatter and other random stuff

All right all right, I admit to being super lazy to blog. Heck, even the food review is done. Is just that, it's way too short.

I only decided to do it like on Monday when I was returning from Ipoh. Argh, I dunno should I post it or not. This week has been quite hectic. I mean I feel so not productive at all, wasting my time playing games, going out (almost everyday). I only manage to watch the Forbidden Kingdom, in which is only one, when there's other movies like Iron Man, Speed Racer, Prince Caspian, and the upcoming Indiana Jones.

Man oh man, I feel so lost or rather wasted. ARGH, actually maybe I should just blog later. I just don't have the mood to do one. So I shall leave you all with just a random comic strip I saw the other day:


If you can't read it just click on it and don't be lazy. RAWRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-ZS-

Washed, Wax, Vacummed

In the light of Jon's attack of tags (which this writer manages to escape) I will update. Or not he will throw something sharp at my general direction (sorry Jon, couldn't resist...)

Okay about the reviews. Erm how to say about it? I rather just pick one of the following categories I mention in the last post and just write one. I will write one review every Sunday which means I owe 1 review. I will probably write both of them this coming weekend when I'm outstation. It's interesting how free you all when you have no freakin internet over the weekend.

So how's my life been? Hmmm.... Generally it's been all right. I not so stress up like two good friends. I don't know is it personality wise or I don't feel the stress. Oh well, maybe it's just me. So what's left for this semester? Two more presentations, two individual assignments and also one more group assignment. And there's always them tutorials I need to do for Business Statistics.

For my spiritual life, I have to really admit that I haven't actually touched my devotion book for uber long. I find myself really struggling to really sit down, quieten myself and do some devotion.
Well that's rather it, I actually want to go further about certain things. But I rather not, since I don't really find myself in the mood. So till then... Ciaoz

-ZS-

Reviews...

In a hope that I might someday enter the Hailer. I actually hope to write some reviews. Reviews on things like music, games, books, movies and food.

I be posting a poll to see which item would like to be reviewed. Of cause, you may submit a product to me for a review. But only if I roughly know about the item. So yeah, I will try to review every once a week an item that would be the highest poll results.

This is also to keep my blog updated and thus making me a more busy person in the blog. Of course there would be still the updates on my life every now and then. Here's a short update:

Life at college has becoming more work recently. With an individual and a group assignment for most of the subjects I'm taking, I can foresee a long journey ahead of me. But surprisingly, I do not actually feel the pressure yet. I somehow know that I will finish everything that has been given to me. Hmmm... Perhaps I'm overconfident? Or maybe I really know how to time myself? Guess I will find out in the coming weeks ahead of me...

Well that's pretty much to blog today. I get the review thing up soon. The reviews will be edited by my great friend Jonathan Chu (if he has the time). Well till then folks....

-ZS-

Updates

I'm back after a long long break from not blogging. So what's been in my life? At college, the "honeymoon" time has finally end and the assignments are been send into my life at college.

My social life has been the same. Not much change, still with the crazy people almost everyday. Either going to expensive places to eat until we are so afraid to eat there for now or planning for things to do but never come through because of various reasons.

Last week, was the first time in this year, that I didn't go to my campus youth zone simply because of laziness. So there, I confessed, I was out with some friends playing COD4 again. I also had like the entire weekend off to myself. Hahahahaha.... My parents was away at Thailand on their business trip. So I had the entire house to myself. But being a good son, I didn't throw any party. And I also still did my chores. Am so proud of myself. XD

I also rearrange my room.
So neat right now? So where did all my stuff on the table when? It went here...
All that mess... used to belong to the table up there. Well at least now I have a work table in my own room.

I think I shall end here. I was just stabbed in me heart. Ahhhhhhhhhhh..... No camera for me......

-ZS-

*Edited*

Okay I'm back... after playing Generals I feel better. So what did I move exactly? Here's what I did...

Basically, I swapped the writing table and the display table.

It took me quite some time to move it around. The display case was very heavy and had to use lots of strength and balance to move it. Since I got so many things being display. Well that's rather it. I think I best start using back the old camera, pictures are not that clear anymore. RAWR!!!!

-ZS-

P/S My grammar is really getting bad. A lot of wrong grammar. Too much IM talking...

April Fool

As the title says, it was April Fool's Day. I woke up to the sound of my hand phone message tone "Heroes Title". So this is what she said:

"After tis u pls dnt msg or cal me.. I think its better 4 us 2 stop our frenship.. I'm so sori 4 tis, bt u really hurt me.. Thanx.. Thanx so much.. Thanx 4 everything! Its all over nw.. Gud bye!!"

Yes I know it has a lot of typo error but what do you expect from a sms? Now being just awoken. I stupidly sms her back knowing well what I just read. In my head, April Fool was the last thing that occur to me. She spent back a very simple message asking me to read the whole thing again. And lo and behold, the final part of the message says:

"Can u tel me which movie is tiz dialogue frm? Hahaha, Scared edi?"

At that moment I was like OMG I got pranked first thing in the morning. But the day didn't end with just that one. Later after business statistics class, having played a few rounds of chor dai dee. Pheebs said that why nobody didn't prank anyone at all? So MARWAN, came to the rescue and propose a prank on someone. I immediately slapped the idea of Mr President AKA Jon Chu's car. I propose the idea that Jon Chu's car had a hit and run case in which his car's back was totally wrecked. Just picture a Proton Saga which back was hit at like 90KPH and there you have it.

Here's the list of who were involved:
1) Marwan - The Actor, his dramatic appearance to the class with bad news for Jon Chu.
2) Paul - The Crafty Accomplice who increases Jon Chu's fear
3) Phoebe - The Producer of it all, without her there won't be a prank
4)Su Yen - The Photographer, her video taping skills is one of the key elements to make this prank a successful memory.
5) Me!!! - Who gave the idea who to prank and details on what to prank.
6) Jon Chu - The victim who we Punk'D. Without your cooperation this can never happen. Thank You



The VIDEO IS UPLOADED. WOOT...

And I did another prank with someone just now. I admit I was being very spontaneous the whole way until the end. Here's how it goes:

ZS: tmw I fool you la
Chibi Bubu: eh..cannot..today only..1st of april..
ZS: can la
Chibi Bubu: cannnot...
ZS: I say can... planning with marwan now
Chibi Bubu: i say cannot... no...stop tht..cannot means cannot eh
ZS: can can can
Chibi Bubu: cannot cannot cannot
ZS: can can can... I ask jon to help aso
Chibi Bubu: cannot cannot cannot..eh... like planning big project like tht..so many ppl... no cannot... i kena fooled 4 times today la... cannot... kesian enough dy
ZS: aww u poor thing... it's okay... we plan urs tmw now
Chibi Bubu: what are friends for??
ZS: u really dont want me to answer that... cuz i will give a long long long answer
Chibi Bubu: hmm...wellz//then is ok :P
ZS: so done... we finish planning
Chibi Bubu: are u serious? pls dun do thIs to me... PLS
ZS: what time ur class ar tmw
Chibi Bubu: eh..not going to tell u..hahaha... o..i dun have class tmr..nene... hahahaha
ZS: i know... the whole idea... was that YOU thought that I would prank you
Chibi Bubu: omg.................................................................
ZS: HAHAHAHAH
Chibi Bubu: emmm.... u terrible..
ZS: hahaha actually I didnt know... it was all spontaneous talking... so real right?
Chibi Bubu: gosh...

So here's to the end of April Fools Day. I know I still haven't blog about last week. But what the heck this was way much more fun. Cheers...

-ZS-

Of Cheesecakes and Birthday Wishes....

So yes, the author of this blog has turned TWENTY!!! So what can I say about it? Nothing much has happen today though. Just spend the hours raking kills in COD4 in the nearby local CC. I did however ate at Chilis on Sunday night and cut me cake yesterday. So here's what I ate at Chilis:

The Grill Lamb... I think...

I simply adored the mashed potato. It's totally different compare to KFC's one. The sauce was creamy and all. The meat was not too bad. It was cook rare I think. Since there were some blood but still enjoyable.

Had a cheesecake for my birthday. The cheese is very rich. The strawberries were very sour. But hey, a cake is a cake. Still I was hoping for a Secret Recipe Blueberry Cheesecake. Hahaha.

Well here's a list of people who wished me today. Those who do, I am so happy that you all bothered to waste 5 minutes of your time to do it. This is in order who wished me...

1) Pre-U CG (They surprised me during CG and then drag me to Williams)
2) Gal (We both wished each other one day before it for fun.)
3) Eric Wen
4) Lizzie (The first to wish me at 12:15 am)
5) Sze Keong
6) Trisha (First sms)
7) Pris
8) Munn Sing
9) Su Yen
10) Jonat Chu (The joker who sms me at freaking 3am in the morning)
11) Jason Liew
12) Ezreena
13) May Choo
13) Paul Leong
14) Sze Ming
15) Joshua San (First backward message I ever get :S)
16) Vin Sie
17) Choon Sam
18) Jia Yi
19) En Ai
20) Rachel Soon
21) Joyce Oo
22) Shaun Lim
23) Ben Micheal

19/03/08
1) Marwan
2) Phoebe Kim
3) Donna Tan
4) Christine Tan
5) Eunice Lam
6) Gavan Chua
7) Eunice Peh

26/03/08
1) Crystal Cha

28/03/08
1) Rachel Quah (wanted to wish me 10-day belated birthday)

30/03/08
1) Pam Lyn

Well that's all for now. I will keep it update. But those who did wish me the first day. I will indeed bless you all with something. Now.... Onward to SINGAPORE!!!!

-ZS-


**Edited**

I will post tmw. I think I still prefer the one week one post style for me. If there is something interesting I may post more. And oh yeah, if your names aren't on the list, that means I forgot and you can kindly tell me that I forgot and put it back up.

Delay...

I blog tmw k? I just want to enjoy what's left of March 16th doing other purposeful stuff....

Till then enjoy a picture of Hiro in cat-form

Cheers...

-ZS-

Tagged

Yes, tagged again by Jon Chu. Gosh you know exams are like coming soon, so can we lay off the tags? If Pheebs does the next tag, I do mine deal?

Here we go...

List out 5 presents you wish for...

1. A new desktop computer with all the new stuff in it. Stuff like the latest graphic card, a huge amount of disk space, great processor and a nice new LCD screen...

2. A new camera. Not aiming for them pro cameras. But I would like a nice slim one where it can just slip into my pocket. Something from Nikon or Sony.

3. A chance to be on the Amazing Race Asia. I know that's far off but hey I would love to do it. It be cool. I book you JON!!!!

4. The PS3... I know it's out and the games are expensive. But but, the games are so freakin clear. I want to play MGS4 on it. ><

5. A scholarship to a Uni in America. I need one to go there.

The Person Who Tagged You Is: PIG TAKE EGG

Your 5 impressions of him/her was:

• Outgoing
• Stress
• Sarcastic
• Funny
  
• Food Fanatic
  

The most memorable thing he/she has done/given to you: The daily crazy stuff we talk everyday

The most memorable thing he/she has said to you: RAWR!!!!!

If he/she becomes your lover, you will: Him and me? Nah, we will end up hating each other :D

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be: As mention above...

5 people you want to tag?

• Erm erm. Rachel Soon cuz you blog very often
  
• Pheebs the Kimster I'm also stressing it now. UPDATE THE BLOG!!!
• Dexter Tang
  
• Galriad Tan
• Christine Tan

Next is them boring questions. The Attack of The Boring Questions!!! RAWR!!!

Who is no. 3 having a relationship with?
Eh. Nobody gua

Who is no. 5 having a relationship with?
I also think nobody gua

no. 2 and no. 3 get together, will it be a good thing?
Nope never, unless no.2 breaks up with her current bf and can stand his sarcasm and and and... I will end right here.

What about no. 4 and no. 5?
Same surname. LOL. Nah I don't know. It be weird though

What is no. 3 studying?
Eh business in Monash. Forgot what was the major

When was the last time you chatted with no. 5?
Last week for the supposed movie trip

Does no. 4 work?
Nope.

Do you have any cousin in his/her school?
We are cousins!!! Same birthday mah. LOL

Will you be with no. 1?
Erm gosh so tricky. I guess no la. But life has it's way to slap you when you least expect it

How about no. 5?
I dunno. Maybe not. Time to move on.

Does no. 2 have any siblings?
Yeah.

How did you get to know no.2 and no. 4?
No. 2 - Pheebs the Kimster - College
No. 4 - Galriad Tan - College and same birthday

Where does no. 1 live at?
Somewhere in her house in USJ

Is no. 5 the sexiest person in the world?
Do you think you're sexy, Kisstine?

There I'm done. Now drop it for the time being. RAWR!!!! So are we still catching that movie? Lol....

-ZS-

Frustrated

Bah, I lost my COD4 profile today. No thanks to great coms in FTZ. Never will I ever touch com 79. Grrr... Much as I don't like to blog about negative and unhappy stuff. But I just had to blow steam somewhere. Two days of game play gone the drain....

-ZS-

V-Day

Well it's that day again, where couples go out and court. I never did find it a special day though, reason it's because I never had relationship with anyone. Well not that I have problems with getting one. It's just that I don't really see the point of getting one now.

I know lots of friends who are either supporting me or telling me the other around. They have a good reasons some of them. But for me, getting into a relationship is really a serious thing. For me, I don't like to play around in a relationship. I rather have a serious one and continue that one until the day of marriage comes. But not everyone like me look at V-day as positive one.

Here's an interesting article I found some days ago. It's about Taiwan's Home Boys:

AIPEI, Taiwan - In colorful masks and black T-shirts with anti-women slogans, dozens of young men paraded through an upscale Taipei shopping center one night in December, yelling at startled couples, "Lovers, go to hell."

It was a rare moment of public exposure for Taiwan's "home boys," single young men who spend evenings cloistered at home, playing online computer games, reading fantasy comic books and complaining in Internet chat rooms about women.

"You don't have to be sad if you don't have a date," said college student Lu Yung-ping, 24. "We can huddle together and have fun."

Japan, Hong Kong and the fast-growing areas of coastal China all have their own versions of home boys. They use the Internet to construct an alternate reality, where fantasy characters and digital games trump domestic responsibilities and the formation of relationships.

Parents find the trend worrisome, and it has become a hot topic in Taiwan's news media. Talk shows and magazines attribute it to a desire to remain in the comfort of the parental home rather than go out into the uncertain world of raising families and paying mortgages.

There are no reliable estimates of their numbers, though home boys far outnumber home girls, because males tend to spend far more time with online games.

Sociologists say the home boys' obsession with computers inhibits their ability to conduct normal personal relations, including dating - a concern at a time when young Taiwanese are delaying marriage and the fertility rate has fallen to 1.2 children per woman, down from 3.2 in 1971.

The home boys tend to be self-centered, less caring for others and incapable of problem-solving, said sociology professor Hsueh Cheng-tai of Taipei's National Taiwan University.

"Many 30-year-olds still have the mentality of children who want to rely on their parents' care and financial support," he said. "They're not ready to get married and fulfill family duties."

It's not so much that they hate women, the young men say; it's that women ignore, reject or betray them. And rather than pining away, they prefer to gather electronically with fellow sufferers and ease their hurts by talking about anything except love.

"The more a nice guy tries to act positively, the more he gets turned away," wrote one man, who identified himself as Hsuan, in a popular anti-couple chat room.

Many of the chat room denizens reject the idea that they are socially awkward, blaming their lack of domestic compatibility on women.

Said one who identified himself only as Klowa: "More so than politicians, women are swindlers among swindlers. They will cheat you of your money and time, or worse, steal from several men at the same time."

Not all computer addicts are so pessimistic.

Lin Wei-ting, a chemistry major at Hsinchu's National Tsing Hua University, describes himself as a "positive home boy."

"Comic books can stimulate our thinking," he said. "They can better prepare us for dating, marriage and career building."

Now I find that rather stupid. Just because you got pushed away from a girl doesn't mean that is the end of your social life with them. I mean, look at me. I don't go telling how a pain girls publicly in chat rooms. If I had a rift with a girl, I will confine to myself. And yes, I have been hurt before by a girl but I got over it and I still enjoy chatting with a girl.

But really, if all girls like mention above, then you are stereotyping them. Just because one girl ticks you off doesn't mean that all of them are like it. You want to know a tip? Be like Jacob from the Bible. Hang around the well. Now don't literally hang around the well. I'm talking about your spiritual well.

Where is the spiritual well? Well it's your church of course. At church, there are many to look at. Also, if you both are Christians, then you are both equally yoke. Imagine if your a Christian and she's a non-believer. What will happen there? Of course there are sometimes she ends up as a Christian but no, it doesn't always happen. It's like you are a higher chair and she's below you. Eventually, gravity will pull you down.

So it's rather important that you are both equally yoke. All in all, I have nothing about relationships. But please, don't be like those home boys. And yeah, sorry if I overused girls. I'm a guy after all.

On a personal note congratulations to Colin and Adrian who won the Amazing Race Asia: Season 2. And congratulations to Vanessa and Pamela for coming in second. Also great jobs to Marc and Ravilsor who got 3rd place and gave lots of funny moments.

Got tagged By JonBoy

Let's see here, *whips up a paper* please type out 8 random facts about yourself.

So basically I did this, and now I need to do it again. Thanks a lot Ah Chu. Really appreciate the early Chinese New Year give away present.

1) I love Blue M&Ms (*This is not plagiarism, I started the idea not you Ah Chu*)
2) I'm the youngest security in my church ministry.
3) I'm into COD4.
4) I'm behind my QT. Blarghhhhhh.
5) I'm emo now because of a certain conversation.
6) I'm tired after playing 3 hours non stop COD4
7) I want to sleep
8) I want to shoot JonChu for leaving me this tag. XD

Let's see *whips up the same paper* "who do you want to tag?"

Personally I don't really care since nobody leaves a comment anymore accept for you Jon. So yeah, nobody says comes around here. And nobody knows I keep this blog updated anymore. So brings back to the question why should I tag? SO SCREW THE WORLD!!!






Excuse me while I go take some Blue M&Ms

-ZS-

This year... Coming again

And here we are at another year of CNY fast approaching me from the front. Well I don't find that interesting anymore. Maybe it's because I spend one week without internet in Ipoh. Gosh, it's so frustrating not to have the internet. It's like a freaking limb tore of you.

The only thing that is stopping from enjoying my one week of paralysis is two draft copy I need to do for my Intro to Business and Information System which tomorrow would be devoted entirely to it since I spend my night keeping ass in COD4 at a local cybercafe. Dang what an addictive game, too bad I had to go before the night strikes midnight but that's life for me.

On a surprise note, I have my first angpau already!!!!!! And the color is.........

PURPLE!!!!

Of course this is not the original one that I have, I'm just lazy to snap a picture. Now at your leave my readers.

-ZS-

I'm alive?

Yes, I'm still alive. Well it's a brand new year. I do have mix feelings about it. Starting a new year again. As I began to reflect, I realize my 2007 year was really a year of transaction. I moved on to my college years and began to realize how different live is outside the four corners of school.

My journey is rather been a huge roller coaster ride. I had like three major events where my life like hit right to the bottom. First of all would be my rub in with my peers, something I didn't expect. Then my accident with a motorcyclist, wonder what happen to him. Also losing my w880i phone, totally unexpected. Ending with losing a RM20,000 cash cheque at the end of the year.

Even though I had hard times. I still had some great moments in the year. Things like Pre-U Getaway, moving into DC, getting involved in the security minister, getting past the year safely. Yeah, guess I'm should be thankful how the last year was a hard but a good year in my life.

Seen a lot of changes everywhere, including me. Changes such as friends, places, my look on life. How I strive to better person for myself, and the people around me. Well,who would have thought my 19 year in my life would be so eventful. Oh well, to greater things ahead. Cheers...

(Okay Jon, now you can lay off those blue m&ms, since I updated it already. Now go bother Pheebs.)

-ZS-

New Year, New Hard Drive

The blogger is deeply saddened by the tragic lost of his pictures, music, videos and personal documents again. But it's a new year, so it started with a new hard drive.

If you any of you who read this, please assist the blogger with whatever photos you have of the blogger. For music, please inquire with the blogger on what he wants. Help is deeply appreciated.

-ZS-