Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I know for a fact this year, will be my year of transaction. I will be moving forward in terms of finding a career in a new city and moving into an entirely different place. Something alien, something bizarre in the city called Chicago. This move will be begin slowly without me realizing it, but the small things I do will have large impacts in the coming months.
Soon I will be working fervently on my final senior project, while at the same time looking for a job on and off campus. Starting a job search and then finding an apartment to live in new city is while exciting but I have a sense of apprehensive. Its will slowly hit me over the months that my days as a college students are slowly coming to an end.
Do I feel excited? I do actually. Leaving behind my student life and moving on to a working life is exciting despite what everyone says. Even though things will be tough, such as fitting into a new place and so on, I feel a sense of peace that it will work out.
Just like how it worked out for my internship at PosAd. That 2 months still have helped me learn a lot about the work environment and has teach me how to work in an office environment. I am truly thankful for that opportunity that Ray Chew has given to me. I also want to thank those who helped me while I was there, teaching and guiding me was no easy task. Henry, Jackson, Rossy and Mei Chin who all have taught a thing or two in my two short months there, I'm truly grateful for their chance in providing me an insight into the office environment and the working experience.
I remember Ray telling my mom that I do not need get an overseas degree but rather I can do the same thing on the homefront. And I choose to accept that as a challenge that I can prove to him that because I have an overseas experience I will be better then your average cup of joe.
But the man has passed away, but my challenge still stays. Even though he will never hear it from me, his challenge will be a testimony to me and to those who hear my story. And with that, 2011 summer working experience was insightful to the real world and I move on back to 2011 fall of campus life.
While I struggle with a lot of issues being thrown at me, things all just work out on their own accord and I'm still breathing in a comfortable living environment on Spring of 2012. Well almost comfortable, but its better than living out in the cold and I don't have much to complain after that.
Spiritual journey still remains where I have been all this years. Still stuck in the same spot: neither growing nor backsliding. I am not proud of that. But somehow, I know God works in my life. My experience during the fall semester shows how things work out and I believe He had a hand in it. But still, I can't give myself a pat on the back on that. I have to keep growing both spiritually and character.
Even though I have established myself as a jerk at times (I adore that role) I know where I stand in character. People who don't know me will not like my attitude towards people at times. But I'm not interested any more in making everything so convenient for people, I'm interested into making them feel uncomfortable to understand that the world isn't a very pretty place. Of course, this does mean that I lose some friends overtime and they slowly become acquittance instead to which I think that's perfectly fine.
While all humans require social interaction in their live, I came to realize I don't need to talk to everyone any more. I would just talk to the people whom I'm interested in getting to know because I feel energized talking to them. A friend to me is someone who is can provide me from encouragement to random talks to "pointless arguments" are the ones I would like to talk to simply because they energize me.
Well my time of writing this post are certainly coming to an end. But first I must write down my resolution for the year because I want to see if I can meet those resolutions or goals by the end of the year. So here it goes:
1) Read the Bible everyday.
2) Workout as much as I can.
3) Blog every now and then.
5) Grow spiritually and mature as a young adult
6) Be willing to take more risks
7) Pick up a skill or a language
8) Make me parents proud of their son
Well eight goals sounds reasonable. Till another post.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
It goes without saying that most of us probably woke up to our fair share of presents. And that's how Christmas was all about to me, to many of us. But as we grow older, we learn that Christmas isn't about waking up to opening presents.
I slowly lose that childish wonder of Christmas as I grew older. But instead I woke up to nothingness. I think like of people out there, we seem to have lose the meaning of Christmas. I know I lost mine because I forgot what's it really like to celebrate Christmas.
I honestly wish I knew why I'm typing this out and not playing Battlefield 3 instead. Maybe there's still this small shimmer inside of me who knows that I must write this down because this is important to open up myself and talk to myself inside of me.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Death has a weird way of coming to you. For me death has always occurred to someone who is much older. In the last few years, I lost 3 uncles in 3 straight years. Then I lost my great-grandmother and grandmother. For me, maybe that’s why I never felt genuinely effected because I was either too young or too still naïve in the world to understand death.
But this summer, I received news that one of my friends has passed away. In an instant, my heart was gripped with fear. Losing a friend who is roughly the same age as me never did occur to me. Never did I think that death would visit a friend of mine at that young, yet I should know by now that death do happen it happens to people. But in an instant that very night, my sense of security crumpled around me as I drove home that very night.
I called to a few of my friends and the funeral was tomorrow. Tomorrow? That was rather too soon for someone who just passed away. I thought about legal procedures and I wonder why the family wanted to get the burial done so quickly. Nevertheless, tomorrow came and I went to the funeral. At the funeral, I was reunited with some of my friends and some I have yet to seen since I returned home. Even though I joked and laughed with them on jokes we shared, I felt wrong and this feeling stayed within me for the whole day. Maybe because it’s was a funeral of a different religion and there was only the feeling of sadness and despair that hung so heavily in the air.
Once the funeral was done, I drove away with a heavy feeling and even though I had concert to go to. I could not shake the feeling that I should be mourning and not be enjoying yet. But like many events in the world, the only way was to move on. Eventually I moved on with her death because the dead stay dead, there isn’t anything I could have done.
I now write this because it is time I honour her now as a memory. A memory and a lesson. A memory of which she was to me and too many others. How we all enjoy her being around us and how funny she was. That will forever be engraved to my memory and I will not forget that. A lesson to me that death will visit the people around me when their time has come.
But do I fear death? I’m not too sure at the moment. At the moment I’m not prepared to meet death. I hope to meet death and be like the Perevell brother who chooses to remain from death till he was ready to meet him like an old friend. The normal man does not wake up every day and think it is his last day on earth. But isn’t that a luxury at times? The fact that we are still able to plan out our lives ahead of us and be hopeful of the future.
But thanks to my dear friend who has gone ahead of me, I will still remember you every time I see something that reminds me of you and chuckle to myself. Now everyday seem different, I see things differently, I live maybe more on the edge now? Whenever or not, this event has influence my life, I sense because of your death, change has come to me. Right now I won’t know what the change will be as it will be slow and subtle. But like many life lessons we learned, it is only when we look back that we can trace what has happened to us and then only can we piece together the puzzle.
And every June 23rd, I will take the time to reflect and remember you of the brief short time we interacted with one another. It is my heart’s desire that we would one day met again. So I won’t say goodbye because I hate those but rather I will say “Till we met again someday.”
“Death is but next the great adventure.” Dumbledore.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Yes, Rabbits are great people. My childhood friend is a Rabbit and I gotten along well for the last 22 years. And he's now hanging on my wall as the testimony to that. Good man, pity we got an argue about who's better in gaming, and clearly I was better.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
- All that is gold does not glitter,
- Not all those who wander are lost;
- The old that is strong does not wither,
- Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
- A light from the shadows shall spring;
- Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
- The crownless again shall be king.