Yes I may sound like a huge coward shouting from across the hall than being straight up in the person's face. But let's face it, would I rather go to his home right now and yell in his face? No, I don't do that. I would look like a complete jerk who has time to waste. Instead, I'm going to do this rant here so that everybody knows what a jerk you once were to me. Do take note that I was once a nice guy and would kiss everyone's ass. But no, I've changed I'm no longer that nice guy.
Readers who will read, I will not ask for your sympathies nor will I ask you to take sides. Be mature to know that they are two sides of the story and mine is but one of the other half. I could be at wrong for doing things I shouldn't but that would be mean the other party should be diplomatic about it and talk about it instead of choosing to slap me in the face. This rant will be the ungodly side of me and will you read swear words.
But let's begin,
In high school, I remember once how naive this teen thought I was threat to his girlfriend. I'm actually going to laugh at this one because he was such an insecure bastard. I was never part of his group of friends because we just don't click on interest. So physically, who wouldn't want him? He was tall and lanky and I'm sure he look handsome to the girl (which she did confess on day 1). She made it very clear to me on the first day of school, she likes him. I didn't like her because I had someone else in mind. I think the whole school pretty knew I was in the hots for another particular girl.
From what I gathered, I think he and she hooked up middle of the year? Things like this never go public in homeschool anyway seeing it's almost a taboo. Now I remember getting her a converse purse because I think noted that her purse looks badly roughed up. So I offer something like that for a birthday. (Yes dear readers, I made that naive mistake of getting her the purse. But I wasn't a man who breaks promises.)
So I got her the gift, and I didn't think any further than that due to the fact that I had to worry about getting out of school and actually going to college and like I said, I was after another girl. Then one fine night, I decided to SMS (or text) her at night because she didn't come to school and was wondering how she was faring. And here comes the drama;
5 mins later, I received a SMS from a different number to stay the fuck away from her!!! Now this got me wondering, how would he or she know that I SMS her and only 5 mins later to have someone telling me off? I leave that to the reader's imagination.
Inside me, I knew that he and she are probably hooked up by now. But the tone of the message suggests that I literally stole his gf from him. I mean come on, if the girl didn't want me to communicate with her then just tell me off, not send your jackass boyfriend to turn me away. Now you probably wondering why I didn't call back the number that just SMS me. Well it's simple, I was 18. Still a naive young man, not interested in conflict. So the next day, I let it slide and nonchalantly mention to her that if she did send her "dog" after me, don't it do the next time. Tell me in my face and I will take it.
Several months later, after I have left the school. I decide to try my luck again and see if the issue was just a fluke now. Surprise surprise, I got a message from maybe the same guy telling to FUCK OFF!!! And he had even the guts to tell me that her brother was backing him up on this. Now I did confirm later they were dating together.
At the end, I refuse to go to that year's school camp because of how they label him as some first-class Christian and list down all his so called abilities. The fact that the camp coordinators paint him in some positive image disgust me. That and some of his lackeys were never a company I prefer and even though it was my last opportunity to enjoy a school camp, I turned it down because I will not put up with him being the leader of the camp.
That's one junk I drag out the closet. Let's move on to more.
Enter my first semester of college. Here was what sorta was the entry to that specific day when it happened here
Yes I apologize for my Engrish back then. Being 18 can be pathetic.
If you cannot understand what happen, here's what happen. I was sad because just 5 weeks into my semester I was literally told I didn't belong to that group. Now readers may ask, "What's wrong with that?" But when I was 18, I was such a young naive person who believe everyone was supposed to somewhat treat me good because I have done the same.
But guess not. After all, I was just the driver, the person who is willing to kiss your ass, the newbie in college. Now I may have deserve it, I may have not. But I know now for a fact that shouting in my face that we didn't invite you because we didn't want you is a cold slap to the face.
Because let's face it, I cannot ignore it if half the college are planning to go to 1U on V-day. And let's face it, I wanted to join the group. But yup, instead I got a nice cold slap to the face telling me that I don't belong to that group. A friend of mine told me to leave them be and they are just assholes. Looking back, I think the guy, I mean pussy now that its out of the bag was an asshole for bitch slapping me in the face.
Now excuse me for a second. I go to a so called Christian college (Note that I said so called), I was expecting some sort of appropriate response from fellow human beings. Shouting in someone's face is always the dumbest thing to do to another and it creates bad blood. Granted shouting does get the message across, but is it worth it? Till this day, it still boils my blood when I think of how ill he treated me.
I next blogged this line, "Heck, I feel like none of them are acting as a Christian. Only a shirt Christian."
Funny thing was, not only the pussy who told me off the day before confronted me on the fact that I BLOGGED about it. He even had the guts to tell me off that I shouldn't have done that. Of course I remember that I try to reason with him saying I will take it down. But no, he told me to keep the post and thanks to that advise, that post remains where it is. He may have reblogged about me but I honestly couldn't care now. My time at college went to the pits thanks to him. I no longer truly enjoy my college experience because of the animosity between us and how later, college would be influence by YOUR dirt that people eventually felt alienated because of different courses.
I for one was GLAD that the video was done without you involve because your words would be like fine poison to some with all your SHIT about college being a family I would probably just walked out and never looked back. And it took a death of someone to eventually slowly mend those wounds you indirectly cause.
And oh, another guy came up to me and told me that he felt insulted in the above statement. OH WOW!!! Somebody actually thought that the post was meant for him and I directly insulted him by telling that you folks are a bunch of shirt-wearing Christian. And the funny thing is, I never mentioned their names in that post and he felt it. I should deserve a freaking medal for nailing him right in the spot.
Awww, feeling angry that I just insulted you for being a shirt Christian? Well, if I had the balls back then, I would just have told him to "FUCK OFF!!! And grow a set of balls. You shouldn't feel insulted nor concern about it since I didn't mention your name, and that if you felt it that means you are guilty for being one."
If your life isn't right with God because let's face it; College > God. I don't think you actually CAN come up to me and tell me off for writing this because that's how I felt and you should be mature enough (too soon?) to deal with it appropriately. I have my own struggles to deal with back then and I do not deserve to be shot.
And oh, apparently I become to play thing for the seniors later. Dealing with immature things like "Teacher I cannot concentrate because of a laptop infront of me" is so much fun. And then waving away telling me it was a joke later after class is just the way to make sure we all have fun.
Like every post I have blog about, I will not mention the names of the people whom I blog about because I still have some sense in me and will not tarnish their image.
If by any chance, that these 4-6 jokers found this blog. I hope this will remind what sorta jerk you were to me and hope that we all have grown out of that. It is my sincere wish that I no longer carry this baggage of unforgiveness and anger in my heart anymore. If you thing you have been mistreated by this post, well too bad. I was mistreated, I was thrown around. I was nailed for supporting her over you and guess what, she was right. You turned out to be *** and how I laughed that something that was always denied is now out.
I can now honestly say that I'm dragged all my anger and frustrations out and shot each of them in the head and now they are being burned over a stake.
Now that's over, I do gently remind that they are two sides of the story and this is mine. I'm not here to buy a sympathy card. I'm here to tell you that I was mistreated and this is how I'm going to let go: by blogging it and telling my story to the whole world. If these 4-6 jokers are think that are men and not pussies, I dare them to write me back about this. Again, I do not expect an apology but if you have the guts to slap in the face again. Do so, and post it back here.
And lastly, to whomever ends up reading this. I apologize with my heart that I have directly or indirectly hurt you with my words and my actions. I have no excuses for them and only ask that you forgive me.
I'm now walking forward without looking back.
Cheers...
-ZimS-
