Twice I felt this...

Sometimes I ever do wonder why I let myself to pull out the knife that is in my heart? While the wound heals, it plunges again into my heart.

I felt this so long ago, never did I want to feel this again. Yet somehow, twice I felt that something I have grown to love be taken away from me again.

Then this brings the question on why should I seek companionship in this love that I have nurtured. Twice it has come, only this time I felt that it more personal. And if I attempt to join it, I feel that I should not since, the saying "three's a crowd" comes to my head.

Which makes me wonder sometimes why I'm always alone? As life in this world progress on, I wonder, I realize that the closer I get with someone, the harder or rather the pain when they separate and move on. As a think of it, I realize most of my frens whom I grew attach with often moved on so fast that I'm left out.

And then I hear this very small voice on the back of my head saying "You'll always be alone." It whispers me to yet hit the hardest. How I long for a companionship that can really last and yet I can always tell. But for this problem can't be shared to that person for the problem lies with me and the problem is about the person.

How it turns out to be a pain that I just want to walk away and never return. How I wish I could just turn off my feelings and not care. How I just want to... be loved and to love one another...