The Dawn of Awakening

The end of another Narnia movie. Watching the Voyage of the Dawn Threader became the most tear-jearking Narnia movie for me. What is there to say it? Seeing a physical representation of Jesus in the form of a lion moves my heart every time and Lewis Carol has done a magnificent job of representing creating the character Aslan.

Every time I see Aslan, my spirit is somehow moved into tears. I wonder is it because the spirit-man inside me has been so dry that seeing Jesus, just overwhelms it and I feel it. Or is it because that my heart desire and intimate experience with God and yearns from a touch from Him? Whichever the case is, my heart moved me to tears as I rode this on my journal.

The final scene when Edmund, Lucy and Eustace when Aslan its time for them to go back proved to be the best scene for me. It seems cruel that Aslan told Edmund and Lucy that they would no longer come back because they have learned all they can from this world. But at the same time, he gives hope to them telling them that they should looking for Him.

Another scene worth mentioning, is when Reepicheep lays down his sword and shows submission to that he is willing to give up the sword to go on to living with Aslan. What joy it is, to see Christian being told "Well done, good and faithful servant." But as time goes on, we find ourself too busy and we lost our main focus in life which is to be a servant of God.

But like the many of us, our desires and wants consume us and we become so focused that we forgot our very reason for being on earth is to glorify God. At worst, we cease to become servants of God but still carry the name Christians because for some they still need some sort of identity. But then, what's the point of then being a Christian then?

If we are not seeking to be better, how are we not different then the next guy who has moral principles. Gandhi asked us Christian why are we don't act like Jesus. Of course we can argue, we are not Jesus and can never be like Him. But that does not mean we should stop trying to be a better person.

Being a Christian is never easy. there was no easy road, the moment we decided to become followers of Christ. There will always be hard decisions to make further down the road, when the time comes. But, we should always strive to a bigger goal which is to put God's command first and not our desires first.

What set us apart from the rest of the world, is that we faith in our God who would reward us when the time comes and we have the hope that God has provided us through his Holy Spirit. My 10 years of solitude has taught me hope that I will get the one instead of looking for her now. God has sustained me the last 7 years without me knowing and I acknowledged that God through the working of many people has led me to become who I am today.

Happy Chinese New Year

Gong Xi Fatt Choi!

Which means Happy Chinese New Year and what a new year it has been. Thanks to the snow storm, I have 2 classes cancel!!! Yay!!! I started the day playing 2 extra hours of gaming! I know!!! It's so not productive! I should have gone to sleep and dearly hope that I wake up in Ipoh and going out to gather AngPaos (little red packets with money inside).

At least by now, I would have ate a lovely reunion dinner. Drank maybe 1 bottle of beer with my dad (Yes, I drink), getting ready for 14 days of excitement of visiting relatives houses, snacking on their snacks and eating their food and repeat that for the next 14 days. Yes, Chinese New Year is celebrated for 2 whole weeks and we normally get 1 over week of holidays.

HA! Beat that you Americans and your Thanksgiving celebrations. Of course, you would argue that Black Friday is something that you could beat us. But why bother going shopping once a year for crazy discount, when we have it three times a year? That's right, we have a nation-wide shopping discount every year. One during January, another one in June - September and lastly in December for the year-end sales. Malaysia is FTW when it comes to celebrating various religion & cultural holidays. And no, St. Patrick doesn't count for you. All you guys do is dress up in green to get drunk.

And yes, let's not forget speaking in Cantonese or Mandarin or something that is not American English. Oh my gosh, I miss just talking with all my slangs and dialects than speaking such an uptight American dialect. I constantly feel the pressure to speak American English just cause most of them would not understand my accent and slang. America for the win.....

Yes, contrary to popular belief that everything is celebrated in November, we celebrate our new year late January or early February. Only a few certain ignorant people would believe that everything they celebrate its at the end of the year.

But no, I woke up to snow and more snow. Bummer... And oh, the snow storm? It was horrible. I took video of it as I was walking back from the Poling Center to Steeby House and wow, it's certain quite a sight and walking on deep snow. Makes me want to go shoot some pictures but the wind was killing me. 15mph wind is not fun at all.

At times like this, don't we all wish we have a teleportation devices and the ability to teleport like Hiro from Heroes? Think about it, I could totally do my classes by day and party by day! Or even attend church or cell group seeing how my Friday mornings are now free. But all that wishful thinking would just go to waste, but I sincerely hope that 1 day I would wake up like be able to teleport or have some abilities. Yes, Heroes has definitely left an impact on me.

And this year is the year of the Rabbit! Yup, if you were born exactly 12 or 24 or 36 years ago, you're a Rabbit! So that means you would have dress up as a Rabbit for the next 14 days. Don't worry, the Easter bunny would understand; I made sure he/she was all right with people dressing up like a Rabbit. Here's a brief summary of those born in the year of the Rabbit:

Occupying the 4th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Rabbit symbolizes such character traits as creativity, compassion, and sensitivity. Rabbits are friendly, outgoing and prefer the company of others. They also prefer to avoid conflict. In confrontational situations, Rabbits approach calmly and with consideration for the other party. Rabbits believe strongly in friends and family and lacking such bonds can lead to emotional issues.

Yes, Rabbits are great people. My childhood friend is a Rabbit and I gotten along well for the last 22 years. And he's now hanging on my wall as the testimony to that. Good man, pity we got an argue about who's better in gaming, and clearly I was better.

And the author does not condone any sort of problems if you find out that your best friend or spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is not compatible because you researched what year you were born in and he or she is not compatible because of being in a different year as you.

So to my friends in Malaysia, Chinese New Year is awesome, but for the love of God please don't post every status update concerning how great it is. On behalf of the people overseas, we KNOW how great it is.

So Gong Xi Gong Xi, have a great Chinese New Year ahead, and don't overdo the drinking!

Cheers...

-ZimS-

Snow Storm

After a year & 7 months,

I return to blogging once again. Maybe I can actually make it a weekly thing now for me but don't hope just yet. I have yet to find a real purpose to why I blog yet, seeing how I see my pictures on Facebook can be describe as a blog instead.

I been encouraged to blog by my professor at the university, telling us how important social media websites have become which is rather true. But let's leave that for another time seeing how my post is entitled "Snow Storm."

So there's this big hype that a snow storm is off epic proportions. Even a facebook event page has been set up for such a thing. They're calling it Snowpocalypse 2011 (and they do have amazing pictures). Yes it does seems like an end of world stuff with 19.5 inches of snow expected.

19.5 inches of snow? It does seems like a lot isn't it? For those needing reference, it's about 3 foot of snow and to those needing reference that's up to your waist if your an average height person. For those who are not the average height, I'm sure you have a decent amount of imagination to help you.

Truth to be told, I'm not particular worried about a power shortage, or being buried in snow, or force to stay indoors. I'm actually worried how are we going to celebrate Chinese New Year this year! With all the snow, the Malaysians on campus are very low on groceries and any plans to make a Chinese New Year dinner will be dashed away.

And the only thing that could excite me is that I wake up tomorrow and find out my classes for the next 2 days is canceled! But that probably will happen when there's like 6 inches of snow and that won't happen here. The only thing canceled was a club meeting at 8:30pm, so that means I just waited for pretty much nothing while I typed out this entry. So my take on this coming snow storm? Nothing exciting, just more snow to count whenever I get too bored.

A friend on mine describes snow as, "You know how sometimes there are people who are really pretty but you wouldn't wanna be around them in real life and it's same thing with the snow."

But I beg to differ. I like the snow. It's just that I don't like the wind. It's like a package you know, you know you don't want the soft drink (or pop for you Americans) in your McD or Taco Bell meals simply because the milk shakes taste way much better or a nice hot coffee. By the way check out Crystal Cha's blog for the above quote. She's probably will entertain you more than me with her charming personalities.

YES!! GO NOW!!!

On an unrelated note, it seems Malaysia has been raining a lot and it sucks now that I half-way across the world experiencing a cold harsh Chinese New Year instead of a somewhat cooler Chinese New Year back home. On behalf on all my Malaysian friends overseas, we all know how much that sucks to be away from the glorious food, angpaos, and the drinks. Seriously, -8C is the definitely the weather to have some brandy or whiskey.

I really wish I could just drink some right now, but because I signed an agreement that I cannot drink during my school year which I'm constantly remaindered by my roommate, my salvation only lies in Ipoh White Coffee and Milo.

So I guess I would have to end now, I'm getting cold and lonely just sitting in the Poling Center Lobby writing this out. I should go start counting snow soon.

Cheers...

-ZimS-

The Return.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

-ZimS-

Hidden

For all you have visited and check frequently,

apologies for never updating for the last few months or weeks. Truth to be told, I have lost my inspiration to blog about anything and rather keep it to myself.

Well, I may update, when I have the time or I feel like it. Most of it is devoted to doing random things.

Cheers...
-ZS-

Probably lost a few pounds...

All right people, I'm currently down with food poisoning. So I should recovering in a day or two (hopefully).

I was supposed to do a post about those who wished me Happy Birthday, but that will have to be on a hold till I can actually concentrate to do it.

I vomited six times in 8 hours so yeah that's a new record for me. Had lots of gas (which are mostly gone by now).

Also I'm facing dehydration due to constant traveling for the last few days and this result in me having a fever now (for this first time over three years!!)

So yeah, that it's for now. God, I love how my body will look like after not eating and vomiting.

-ZS-

Is Being Good Enough?

Often I hear friends of mine telling me I'm a good person because I do a lot of nice things. But really, when I seat back and reflect upon my soul and conscience. I'm not even the slightest good person I can look for. Sure there are some qualities that I am proud of. But, if I were to continue on my road on leading a purposeful life which is one that has to be constantly growing and improving myself, I'm no where near there.

When examining myself, I still lie, cheat, get angry easily at some people and still do all sort of things, all these are not the attribute that I hard to get rid it off. Of course some people might say, "Don't be too hard on yourself, not everyone is perfect," but what's the point of just being at my current state when my goal as a Christian, a supposed follower of Christ is suppose to STRIVE hard to be as Christ like as possible.

The problem is that, too many people are out there waiting to be saved. But, what is the point of going to them and telling all the "nice" words to them about Christ and how we try to live Christ-like when I still am not right with my walk with God. It's the whole point of being a hypocrite that hinders me as a Christian who is supposes to live like Him but not Him. I still remember the words from Pastor Edmund Chan during the Discipleship Conference. He says "People love Jesus Christ, but not many are like Jesus Christ." These words alone just shake me. As everyday, when I walk out the doors of my room or even being in my room I need to remember that I am watched not by God, but also the people around me.

You see, it is tough to be a Christian. Even with all the blessings that may come from God, it does come with a price. As I remember reading in the Old Testament. God will only bless the children of Israel when they follow and obey his commandments. If not, He will send curses that will not only effect me but until my children's children. This alone shows that in order to get the blessings that I want from God, I must first put right with myself.

I also do fear the day when I fall to be a lukewarm Christian which is not an area to be. Even as stated by God in the book of Revelations, He prefers either someone who is cold or warm rather than lukewarm. It is generally hard, but hey, I signed up for this ride and I'm not going to go back on it now. So, to end here's a poem that I should remember about:

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.  I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.  When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.  I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.  Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.  My family and I could have made an impact on our town.  Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.  ~Author Unknown

-ZS-

So ends the year of alignment, what's next?

So end's the year of alignment...

My 2008 was a mixture of everything a normal teen will take. A mixture of good and bad, happy and sad moments, fun and depressing moments.

As I sit down and finally take time to type this out, I am reminded that I'm ALIVE to be typing this post. As I was at church celebrating the last day of 2008, I am reminded that I should be thankful of all my events in this year.

So here goes a list of what I can think of to give my thanks:

1. Thanks to God who has sustain me the entire year with His strength, His undying love, His comfort when I'm down, His wisdom, His never ending mercy on my life. To the opportunites that I am able to share my wisdom to some people and to the times where I could impact other people lives. Without you, I wouldn't be typing this and remembering that I give thanks to you.
   
2. To all my friends who has stuck to me the entire year, to all the moments we shared laughing and having fun to the times when I needed a ear to listen to my thoughts and rants.
   
3. To the great friends, those who has somehow impacted my live in ways that makes me want to be a much better person (Joel, Trisha, J. Chu, Phoebe, Marwan, Deborah Heng, Pamela Lai, May Choo, Paul Leong)
4. To Joel, who has always taught me many things and the many times we share talking about the Word. From the wise teachings that he has taught me to the times we had times talking about the Word and to the great eye openers that are in the Bible. I hope that we will always maintain this relationship and grow a stronger bond in the future
   
5. To Trisha, who is one of the best encouragement and comforter during the times I need someone to talk to. To also become another one of pet sisters to which I hope we can always be one way both a supporter and encouragement to one another.
6. To J.Chu, as one of great friends from the start of the year. To the crazy times and stuff that we did, I'll cherish those moments. To the late nights that we had talking just random stuff, to singing each other Sweeney Todd (Lol), to being a friend who taught has taught me to not shoot my mouth too much XD. Even though we may grown a distant, I do hope one day where we can be where we were earlier last year :)
   
7. To Phoebe, who I had fun being with such friend. To the times talking really fun stuff and living with your "greatness". To the times we had over the small disagreements that I can never win which always turn out to be fun. Cheers to your greatness and the thanks for the ever encouragment to make me study harder.
   
8. To Marwan, who turned out to be one of the best (and only) Iraqi friend I had. To the times where you will entertain me with your acting skills and your passion for videoing things. To teaching me some great games, that I learned to enjoy and watching you in awe when I turned out to be good? Hahaha... to that, a great friend who has entertained me throughout the year.
9. To Paul, who was willing to take me as a student. Is hard to believe that the timing was so precise when I going to start looking for a teacher in drums. As a teacher who has enough patience to teach me (and again if I forget) and high hopes for me to play as a drummer. To the many times he had to nag me to practice more (lol). And as a friend, from high school so that we can sometimes reminiscence about some friends.
10. To Deborah, whom I found a new friend that I could talk some college stuff which I find it difficult to share. To the times where we both pour our rants to each other about assignments and exams. To also an almost trip to Malacca which didn't work out in the end lol. To hopes that we can do another sometime soon.
    
11. To both Pam and May who we manage to overcome time to become great friends again like once we were so many years. To the many meetings that we had, to catch up with one another and have fun talking, to finally an outing where we enjoy not just us but a few more old friends that we couldn't meet up.
12. To my family both blood and not related, who has encouraged me when I needed encouragement. The love showed to me by my parents. Thank you.

One of my proudest moment in my year of alignment was that I managed to finish at least one journal book of my devotion. Though I didn't manage to finish the entire devotion book but nevertheless it was an achievement which I couldn't achieve for the pass few years.

Also, that I have pass my P license and I am not a fully competent driver. I thank God that even though I had quite a few accidents in my two years time, I am grateful that I finish it without receiving a single demerit to my license and I will always give thanks that I passed my driving exam when I could have failed a second time.

My year of aligment is not a perfect one, but it's a start in my story in this world. I do know now that in my walk with God that I lack the ability to pray. I somehow find myself struggling in just like spending time talking to God.

To one of the greatest lesson I was taught and will most likely never forget which is that not everyone will become a leader by title. This lesson was taught to me by Joel who showed me in the James 3:1 "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment." I have learn that I need not to be a leader by title but just a person who serve the Living God and when I serve Him, I will surely one way or another lead people in ways that I could not see.

As the year starts a new, I began this year with hopes that I can be a better person in terms of spiritual and character. That I strive to become more Christ like everyday.

I welcome the Year of Influence!!!

My thoughts on...

Micheal Guglielmucci,

After sometime, I began to really think about it. Let's see how long will I ramble about him.

I first saw and met the man at the Planetshaker conference of 2004 at Sunway Convention Hall, Malaysia. It was there, I began to know Planetshaker and my passion for their songs grow.

However, when I began to grow older, I slowly began moving to worship songs over their fast-paced praise songs. From there, I find that Hillsong produce better worship song (my last album I got was Never Stop).

It was actually two years ago, when I found out that Micheal Guglielmucci was stricken with a cancer disease. My heart when out to him. I remember hearing the song "Healer" and was like awe-struck that a man who was stricken with cancer was able to write songs like "Healer" and a few praise songs. I mean, I would have a hard time finding myself to praise God when I was stricken with cancer.

When I heard news that he was recovering I was happy. Despite seeing some people on youtube saying his liar, I couldn't care less since a man is being saved now through faith healing. Then the news came out a few weeks back, when he has completely told a lie to us all.

He wasn't stricken with cancer...

To me, when I received the news, I wasn't like totally shocked. I don't know why but I was okay. He lied to us. So what? He's still a human.

On a side note, when I first received the news, I question whether or not more people will know Jesus. I had this bizare thinking that because what Mike did, he probably had more people coming to know Jesus. When I thought of it, would we give up our good name for people to come to Jesus? I would actually call this an ultimate sacrifice. Since the Bible has said that a good name is better than riches. I call this method also unorthodox since it kinda touches on an area which is very sensitive.

It's like if I do this, my name will forever be seen as bad. However, I do saved lots of people at the sametime. However, some people might accept badly and reject the gospel. Using this is kinda like two-shaped sword (not sure is that the term, but it means the plan can backfire).

When the news came out, I talked to a few people and one of them was Crystal Cha.

I enjoyed the conversation since it's nice to have a good talk about things like these and I would called it really an "intellectual" talk. Not that the rest I talked with other people are not intellectual but it's great to have someone like Crystal talked about her viewpoint. I find Crystal one of the most wise people I have met and she's younger than me. So for one to be wiser than you at a younger age is a really blessing.

When I asked her about the hoax, she said that she wasn't that surprise that the hoax came out. Since being a pastor does indeed have a lot of pressure and expectation on one person. She finds it too sudden for him to be sick and he writes a song about it. She goes on that every person (including Christians) is tempted all the time by fame and money.

Even our Lord Jesus, was tempted by the Devil to thrown himself from the temple of God to gain fame and if he bow down to the Devil, he will give all the cities that he owned. This is recorded in the book of Matthew (guys can find it yourself :) since some of us are too lazy to open the Bible, now is the chance).

Going out slightly out topic...

Both of us (Crys and me), find that Planetshakers has really became too focus on the idea of hyping up the atmosphere on worship. Not that is bad and all, but it's just that both of us finally settled down and enjoy the quiet and powerful worship songs. Personally when she compared them with Passion Worship Band, she finds them so much more humble and really no need to create a hype to make the crowd praise and worship God.

As for me, why I like worship songs is that where you can just worship God and the power is there when I worship. I feel like that's the whole point of worship and if I were to looked back at myself 7 years ago, I can say that I have changed. When I was young, I always like praise songs since it was full of movement and so on. But, one time during a worship celebration at my church, I saw an older friend of mine, singing a praise song with her eyes closed like total worship. This makes me question why she does that. Since praise songs are "normally" meant to hype out the worshippers.

As time progress on, I slowly find myself liking worship songs. Maybe it was the constant Quiet Time, or maybe I had such a great leader who impacts my life to be changed. Is just by listening to some of them, you can really just start reflecting and began to feel God's presence. Now, when I'm doing my Quiet Time, I would just play worship songs and just basked myself in the presence of God. Also one of wishes, is that one day I could be the drummer for the songs that being played.

Back to Mike,

I for one, am glad that he confess his sins. Even it will create lots of backlash; I think that his conscience is cleaner now. Imagine if he when out with the lie, how long more before he will finally confess? If it prolonged, how many more would be hurt by him? How many more will be shocked and be angry with him? I applaud him for coming clean with the lie and his addiction with pornography. It takes real guts to actually come out and say everything. What I believe is the conviction of the Holy Spirit and through the song he wrote are the main reasons why he chooses to end the lies.

However, searching online about articles about him. I am surprised that churches like Hillsong and Planetshakers have began to cut off (literally) from their churches. Even Planetshakers have begun to remove his name from most of their albums.

To check what I have said visit here

I am not happy about this. Why? Just because he has done wrong does not mean you get to remove all traces about him. The songs that are previously written by him are still strong and meaningful. I can say that songs are neither good nor bad. It's how you accept them and allow them to speak to you. Some like the song "Healer" is just so meaningful. How often can we really sing about healing when there are so many people who need it?

I find this disgraceful for the church of Planetshakers and Hillsong to remove anything to do with Mike. Even the head of Planetshakers Church has stressed over and over again that he doesn't know a single thing about Mike's hoax. Now, I find it funny since they could have like accompany him to the hospital, to the doctor's room and read the results together. It shows that sadly nobody couldn't care to enter the doctor's room with him. Sad but true. Also, a church that big will need accountability. What happen to that? Shouldn't the Planetshakers church have at least formed an accountability group with him in one?

Here's a blog post concerning taking responsibility for Mike, here

I'm here not to condemn the church of Planetshakers, I am here to tell what they could have done at least. Not to mention only Planetshakers is removing his name from their album, but even Hillsong is recalling all their copies of "This is Our God" and removing the track "Healer" from the album.

Since when the church has been so fussy about face? If it's in an Asian culture, then it's understandable but the damage is done. Why bother wasting time and money removing his name from the album when there are other things to be done?

I'm going to close soon, (feels like a sermon XD) but yeah, I also noticed that too many people are still focusing on what he has done. Sure, we might feel angry and hurt and not to mention shocked on the news. However, enough is enough; I urged people who read this post to forgive Mike as he is only human and so are you who read this and me. The next thing to do is to help him out in his problem. Isn't a church supposed to support their members when they are faced with trials and persecution?

It will only hurt Mike more if the church members choose to ignore him and refuse to help him. When that happens, are we any better? Isn't our duty as a Christian to help one another and also forgive not once but seven times seven and times it again? As I close this post, I just want to finally say that even we Christians, do fall short of the glory of God.

We are not super human who can simply resist sin and the temptation of the flesh. We ARE real people who grow through wanting to be in a social group, wanting to have attention to us. Never, assume that Christians are perfect people. We are still humans who strive for perfection in our race with Jesus.

And finally, to Micheal Guglielmucci, I give my respect to you for coming clean after two years and that you bothered to actually say it with everyone or rather to the world. My respect goes to a man who DARED to be REAL and BOLD to do so. Even some people might not respect you, despise you, know that by God's grace, we can live our lives and still be a pleasing to God.

Amen.

Phew, there goes my longest post. Now a few words who read this, I don't really expect a feedback but this post is different, I sincerely hope that you will give me feedback about the whole post. From the content of it to my grammar (I know it's not first grade) to constructive criticism about my style of writing which might to messy. I started at 1:00am on October the 11th and finish it only at 3:21am. So be a dear and leave me a feedback yeah?

-ZS-

*EDIT*

Sorry guys, just double-checked, it said that Hillsong is removing the song "Healer" in any future releases of their album "This is Our God".

Also, at their offical site which is here, you can see that the song "Healer" is no longer there for downloads. Again, I apologize for not double-checking.

My eye...

Damn, my left eyes is irritated like mad, feels like something is poking it. It leaves a quick and painful feeling in the left eye when I moved it too much. I dunno what caused it, I only know that it started like Thursday.

One of the most annoying pain I had in awhile. I could say I rather have the muscles aches rather over this. Bah, I don't feel like updating anything more since it hurts now.

ZzZZZZzzzZZ