Is Being Good Enough?

Often I hear friends of mine telling me I'm a good person because I do a lot of nice things. But really, when I seat back and reflect upon my soul and conscience. I'm not even the slightest good person I can look for. Sure there are some qualities that I am proud of. But, if I were to continue on my road on leading a purposeful life which is one that has to be constantly growing and improving myself, I'm no where near there.

When examining myself, I still lie, cheat, get angry easily at some people and still do all sort of things, all these are not the attribute that I hard to get rid it off. Of course some people might say, "Don't be too hard on yourself, not everyone is perfect," but what's the point of just being at my current state when my goal as a Christian, a supposed follower of Christ is suppose to STRIVE hard to be as Christ like as possible.

The problem is that, too many people are out there waiting to be saved. But, what is the point of going to them and telling all the "nice" words to them about Christ and how we try to live Christ-like when I still am not right with my walk with God. It's the whole point of being a hypocrite that hinders me as a Christian who is supposes to live like Him but not Him. I still remember the words from Pastor Edmund Chan during the Discipleship Conference. He says "People love Jesus Christ, but not many are like Jesus Christ." These words alone just shake me. As everyday, when I walk out the doors of my room or even being in my room I need to remember that I am watched not by God, but also the people around me.

You see, it is tough to be a Christian. Even with all the blessings that may come from God, it does come with a price. As I remember reading in the Old Testament. God will only bless the children of Israel when they follow and obey his commandments. If not, He will send curses that will not only effect me but until my children's children. This alone shows that in order to get the blessings that I want from God, I must first put right with myself.

I also do fear the day when I fall to be a lukewarm Christian which is not an area to be. Even as stated by God in the book of Revelations, He prefers either someone who is cold or warm rather than lukewarm. It is generally hard, but hey, I signed up for this ride and I'm not going to go back on it now. So, to end here's a poem that I should remember about:

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.  I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.  When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.  I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.  Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.  My family and I could have made an impact on our town.  Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.  ~Author Unknown

-ZS-