Saturday, October 11, 2008

My thoughts on...

Micheal Guglielmucci,

After sometime, I began to really think about it. Let's see how long will I ramble about him.

I first saw and met the man at the Planetshaker conference of 2004 at Sunway Convention Hall, Malaysia. It was there, I began to know Planetshaker and my passion for their songs grow.

However, when I began to grow older, I slowly began moving to worship songs over their fast-paced praise songs. From there, I find that Hillsong produce better worship song (my last album I got was Never Stop).

It was actually two years ago, when I found out that Micheal Guglielmucci was stricken with a cancer disease. My heart when out to him. I remember hearing the song "Healer" and was like awe-struck that a man who was stricken with cancer was able to write songs like "Healer" and a few praise songs. I mean, I would have a hard time finding myself to praise God when I was stricken with cancer.

When I heard news that he was recovering I was happy. Despite seeing some people on youtube saying his liar, I couldn't care less since a man is being saved now through faith healing. Then the news came out a few weeks back, when he has completely told a lie to us all.

He wasn't stricken with cancer...

To me, when I received the news, I wasn't like totally shocked. I don't know why but I was okay. He lied to us. So what? He's still a human.

On a side note, when I first received the news, I question whether or not more people will know Jesus. I had this bizare thinking that because what Mike did, he probably had more people coming to know Jesus. When I thought of it, would we give up our good name for people to come to Jesus? I would actually call this an ultimate sacrifice. Since the Bible has said that a good name is better than riches. I call this method also unorthodox since it kinda touches on an area which is very sensitive.

It's like if I do this, my name will forever be seen as bad. However, I do saved lots of people at the sametime. However, some people might accept badly and reject the gospel. Using this is kinda like two-shaped sword (not sure is that the term, but it means the plan can backfire).

When the news came out, I talked to a few people and one of them was Crystal Cha.

I enjoyed the conversation since it's nice to have a good talk about things like these and I would called it really an "intellectual" talk. Not that the rest I talked with other people are not intellectual but it's great to have someone like Crystal talked about her viewpoint. I find Crystal one of the most wise people I have met and she's younger than me. So for one to be wiser than you at a younger age is a really blessing.

When I asked her about the hoax, she said that she wasn't that surprise that the hoax came out. Since being a pastor does indeed have a lot of pressure and expectation on one person. She finds it too sudden for him to be sick and he writes a song about it. She goes on that every person (including Christians) is tempted all the time by fame and money.

Even our Lord Jesus, was tempted by the Devil to thrown himself from the temple of God to gain fame and if he bow down to the Devil, he will give all the cities that he owned. This is recorded in the book of Matthew (guys can find it yourself :) since some of us are too lazy to open the Bible, now is the chance).

Going out slightly out topic...

Both of us (Crys and me), find that Planetshakers has really became too focus on the idea of hyping up the atmosphere on worship. Not that is bad and all, but it's just that both of us finally settled down and enjoy the quiet and powerful worship songs. Personally when she compared them with Passion Worship Band, she finds them so much more humble and really no need to create a hype to make the crowd praise and worship God.

As for me, why I like worship songs is that where you can just worship God and the power is there when I worship. I feel like that's the whole point of worship and if I were to looked back at myself 7 years ago, I can say that I have changed. When I was young, I always like praise songs since it was full of movement and so on. But, one time during a worship celebration at my church, I saw an older friend of mine, singing a praise song with her eyes closed like total worship. This makes me question why she does that. Since praise songs are "normally" meant to hype out the worshippers.

As time progress on, I slowly find myself liking worship songs. Maybe it was the constant Quiet Time, or maybe I had such a great leader who impacts my life to be changed. Is just by listening to some of them, you can really just start reflecting and began to feel God's presence. Now, when I'm doing my Quiet Time, I would just play worship songs and just basked myself in the presence of God. Also one of wishes, is that one day I could be the drummer for the songs that being played.

Back to Mike,

I for one, am glad that he confess his sins. Even it will create lots of backlash; I think that his conscience is cleaner now. Imagine if he when out with the lie, how long more before he will finally confess? If it prolonged, how many more would be hurt by him? How many more will be shocked and be angry with him? I applaud him for coming clean with the lie and his addiction with pornography. It takes real guts to actually come out and say everything. What I believe is the conviction of the Holy Spirit and through the song he wrote are the main reasons why he chooses to end the lies.

However, searching online about articles about him. I am surprised that churches like Hillsong and Planetshakers have began to cut off (literally) from their churches. Even Planetshakers have begun to remove his name from most of their albums.

To check what I have said visit here

I am not happy about this. Why? Just because he has done wrong does not mean you get to remove all traces about him. The songs that are previously written by him are still strong and meaningful. I can say that songs are neither good nor bad. It's how you accept them and allow them to speak to you. Some like the song "Healer" is just so meaningful. How often can we really sing about healing when there are so many people who need it?

I find this disgraceful for the church of Planetshakers and Hillsong to remove anything to do with Mike. Even the head of Planetshakers Church has stressed over and over again that he doesn't know a single thing about Mike's hoax. Now, I find it funny since they could have like accompany him to the hospital, to the doctor's room and read the results together. It shows that sadly nobody couldn't care to enter the doctor's room with him. Sad but true. Also, a church that big will need accountability. What happen to that? Shouldn't the Planetshakers church have at least formed an accountability group with him in one?

Here's a blog post concerning taking responsibility for Mike, here

I'm here not to condemn the church of Planetshakers, I am here to tell what they could have done at least. Not to mention only Planetshakers is removing his name from their album, but even Hillsong is recalling all their copies of "This is Our God" and removing the track "Healer" from the album.

Since when the church has been so fussy about face? If it's in an Asian culture, then it's understandable but the damage is done. Why bother wasting time and money removing his name from the album when there are other things to be done?

I'm going to close soon, (feels like a sermon XD) but yeah, I also noticed that too many people are still focusing on what he has done. Sure, we might feel angry and hurt and not to mention shocked on the news. However, enough is enough; I urged people who read this post to forgive Mike as he is only human and so are you who read this and me. The next thing to do is to help him out in his problem. Isn't a church supposed to support their members when they are faced with trials and persecution?

It will only hurt Mike more if the church members choose to ignore him and refuse to help him. When that happens, are we any better? Isn't our duty as a Christian to help one another and also forgive not once but seven times seven and times it again? As I close this post, I just want to finally say that even we Christians, do fall short of the glory of God.

We are not super human who can simply resist sin and the temptation of the flesh. We ARE real people who grow through wanting to be in a social group, wanting to have attention to us. Never, assume that Christians are perfect people. We are still humans who strive for perfection in our race with Jesus.

And finally, to Micheal Guglielmucci, I give my respect to you for coming clean after two years and that you bothered to actually say it with everyone or rather to the world. My respect goes to a man who DARED to be REAL and BOLD to do so. Even some people might not respect you, despise you, know that by God's grace, we can live our lives and still be a pleasing to God.

Amen.

Phew, there goes my longest post. Now a few words who read this, I don't really expect a feedback but this post is different, I sincerely hope that you will give me feedback about the whole post. From the content of it to my grammar (I know it's not first grade) to constructive criticism about my style of writing which might to messy. I started at 1:00am on October the 11th and finish it only at 3:21am. So be a dear and leave me a feedback yeah?

-ZS-

*EDIT*

Sorry guys, just double-checked, it said that Hillsong is removing the song "Healer" in any future releases of their album "This is Our God".

Also, at their offical site which is here, you can see that the song "Healer" is no longer there for downloads. Again, I apologize for not double-checking.

Monday, October 6, 2008

My eye...

Damn, my left eyes is irritated like mad, feels like something is poking it. It leaves a quick and painful feeling in the left eye when I moved it too much. I dunno what caused it, I only know that it started like Thursday.

One of the most annoying pain I had in awhile. I could say I rather have the muscles aches rather over this. Bah, I don't feel like updating anything more since it hurts now.

ZzZZZZzzzZZ

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Twice I felt this...

Sometimes I ever do wonder why I let myself to pull out the knife that is in my heart? While the wound heals, it plunges again into my heart.

I felt this so long ago, never did I want to feel this again. Yet somehow, twice I felt that something I have grown to love be taken away from me again.

Then this brings the question on why should I seek companionship in this love that I have nurtured. Twice it has come, only this time I felt that it more personal. And if I attempt to join it, I feel that I should not since, the saying "three's a crowd" comes to my head.

Which makes me wonder sometimes why I'm always alone? As life in this world progress on, I wonder, I realize that the closer I get with someone, the harder or rather the pain when they separate and move on. As a think of it, I realize most of my frens whom I grew attach with often moved on so fast that I'm left out.

And then I hear this very small voice on the back of my head saying "You'll always be alone." It whispers me to yet hit the hardest. How I long for a companionship that can really last and yet I can always tell. But for this problem can't be shared to that person for the problem lies with me and the problem is about the person.

How it turns out to be a pain that I just want to walk away and never return. How I wish I could just turn off my feelings and not care. How I just want to... be loved and to love one another...

My two attempts...

So my last two days at attempting to eat Carl's Jr. has failed miserably


Why? It's because of those BLASTED MALAYS who go there and order their food and like stare at them until 7:20PM.

For goodness sake people, why not you just go take it away. I don't care if you have to screw your fast plans but will it be too hard for you like to NOT eat there? There are people LIKE me who has yet to taste of 1 of this delicious burgers and you all crapped up like tuna or sardines to be slaughtered in there.

Blargh, that said also I don't get to eat it anyway. Two whole days stuck in the jam towards MV with Nas and Gal. All hopes gone down the drain those two darn days. I blame Nas for the first attempt for finishing her work late XD.

Well, on a positive side, Gal and me saw a hailer person around. She was so intentively eating that she didn't notice both of us infront of her :P

And I also bought a new CD which I wanted for sometime.
If you guys can't recognize her, then no worries, she's a Jap artist. So to those who don't listen to J-pop need not to be ashamed XD.

Her name is Yuna Ito, I like her music cuz it's kinda like a erm how would I say it, has a positive upbeat in her music and yeah it's nice to have a break away from Ayumi and BoA sometimes.

Hey, even Gal listens to her music, so yeah that means Gal has good taste of music to those who question my taste of music. And he listen to like to quite some of the updated songs on the radio now unlike me who listens to my iPod wherever I go.

Anyway, I can't really stress much, since I have hunger pangs now. On a last note...

Next time Carls Jr.. Next time I WILL GET YOU!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Christianity 1500 years ago and today...

Okay the article for this update is actually in my CG's blog.

So click here to check it out.

I strongly encourage those who visit my blog to check it out. As Joel, is one of most influential in my life, his teachings are an eye opener. So do pay visit and read the article. Cheers...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Chair....

So after 6-8 years of service, my wooden chair finally gave way. Thankfully, went I was sitting on it I could feel that the chair was slowly giving away.

Still it was weird have your chair "sinking" slowly. Must be how a person on a ship felt like when it was sinking.

Monday, August 25, 2008

What has really been eating up my time...

As the title says,

I have been actually spending at least a hour a day to do my devotion. Normally I would do up to two hours straight but is not often.

Why I have been focusing so much on it? Well I started with this goal at the beginning of the year to finish my church's devotion book. Normally my church will start the year with a new devotion book. This has been a tradition for the last 27 years I think. With that goal in mine, I pushed myself to do more devotion.

The reason why I have been pushing myself was that I have been slacking really far back. As of now I'm doing week 12 of my devotion and guess what? It's week 35.

That means 22 weeks = 154 days to catch up.

Phew, a long way to go eh?

Normally, I would journal my thoughts about the recent devotion that I do. So sometimes, there's a lot to write about and then I would have to read a few bible chapters for my Through-the-Bible Reading Plan.

What my devotion book does is that we go week by week a topic of a book in the bible. Like currently, I studying about the book of Isaiah. The devotion book will then go through the entire book in 7 days, picking up important verses. What I like about it, it's that rather simple reflections of the Bible.

It isn't really dry like some of the previous book that I read and lost my interest. I would actually encourage people to really do the book (even Marwan is doing it for you college lurkers). It's rather a simple daily reflection on just a verse.

The book is called Through The Bible, Through The Year


John Stott is without question one of the most beloved and significant pastors and authors of the last fifty years. Named by Time magazine in 2005 as one of the world's 100 most influential people as one of the 25 most influential evangelicals in America, Stott commands a huge following that defies his quiet demeanor.

Now, in Through the Bible Through the Year, Stott offers orginal, never-before-published reflections on the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. These daily readings take you through Scriptures with an emphasis on both the "big picture" of the story of God and the nature of God as Trinity. Christians seeking a stronger, holistic grasp on the Bible will treasure this work that overflows with wisdom gleaned from a life and reflection by an internationally beloved pastor and scholar.

*Extracted from back cover of the book*

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Repost by Surviving Lame Cat By Joel Lee

Before you read this poem, I thought that it would be helpful to let you know the background of this poem.One day while I was eating my dinner with my family outside, I looked out the door, and saw a cat.It's paw was bleeding, no... The cat actually lost a paw, and the joint where the paw was supposed to be was bleeding.

Before I could start feeling sorry for the cat, something more caught my attention.The cat was digging the ground, for food perhaps. It was a tar road. There is no food there.Perhaps a cat like that do not have much intellect to know that there will be no food beneath the tar road.Yet the cat's will to live convicted me. Yes, the cat have less intellect. Yes, it was probably animal insticts.But, the conviction came when I recall the moments when I started giving up in life when I meet obstacles.It reminds me of the time when I indulged in self pity. I throw a whole pity party, as if the world revolves around me.

A lame cat shamed me. It probably won't sound very grand, but this poem, is really written in honour of a cat.A lame cat. A lame cat that is probably more inspiring than 95% of earth's population."You" would refer to the cat.

You say, "There is more to life"
I say, "Then show me what is life"
Show me things you find
Really,I don't want to be left behind

Adventures you tell - I do wonder,
Reflecting on my life - I start to ponder,
If the highest high will be too high,
Or maybe,
Perhaps like you said, "It is nigh, it is nigh"

If life's a bet,
I'm reaching my final chips,
Remembering the lame old cat,
Really,
I wonder if I'm really reduced to bits.

But now that life's a snare
I can't even reach a tie
I don't think I'll ever care
Truly,
I'd rather try, or I'd rather die

Perhaps, the lame old cat is bright
It said, "Real life, is not yet out of sight
O God, I am wrong,
Now please,
Make me right.

Despite not being made by me. I think this post is really meaningful ya? How often have we complained how tough life is. Guess we shouldn't really say that until we become like the lame cat. Figurative speaking...

Reflections...

*Repost*

How often have I looked down on people who are of lower status of me. The status which I look down are when they have lower intelligence more towards people with "Down Syndrome" or people who are so call gifted in an optimist way.

But how many times can we look at them and really say to ourselves, "I going to love them". This is one of the weakest area that I try my best to improve myself in. Having a cousin who has makes an opportunity but is still a hard task to be done. This struggle is overwhelming sometimes as I look at them that we need to love them as Jesus loves us.

I can never imagine myself fathering one of them. The idea really scares me a lot. Yes praying about it and having faith on God can be one of the solution. But, is funny that if we think more about the idea, God might just decide to drop it on me since I have such experience before.

However, they are several things that I notice, they are rather the most easiest going people you can ever meet or speak to. They need not worry about their next meal or their studies and so on. I won't be surprise that they do know that their special but yet continue living their lives even without slightest worry and the fear of shame.

As we often compare to people who of higher standard in terms of wealth, fame, talents and intelligence, we should be thankful that we have a sound mind or perfect body that we can use.
It's one of the least thing that we do when we complain about our life.

Like the poem I read, a lame cat can shame us when we say

"I can't do this anymore"
"I quit... maybe someone might pity me"

Looking at that, when we have a perfect mind and body, complain that we cannot do this and that and we start making noise so that people may start having a pity on us. But truly, is that what we want? People to pity us? Or do you prefer that you don't have the problem that is in front of you? Or perhaps you want to have the ability or power to overcome the problem?

To me, I rather have the ability to overcome my problem rather than complaining out loud to everyone. I have actually nothing about complaining problems as I have done to some people. But I would normally only confine to a single person rather than a lot of people. I never did like to tell the world my problems, it makes me look pitiful and that I need everyone to hear about it.

Do we really need to be pity in the end? Indulging in self-pity like a big scoop of ice cream, do we really want that?

Results...

Okayyy.... I'll do a quickie update... since I have people rawring at me already...

What I got for this semester was

3 B+, 1 B, 1 D...

But hey, no failure... Guess that's a win for me...

*note to self, rant and pour out my anger on NOT going to Passion*

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bit down...

Bit feeling a bit more than the usual downess lately. It's this feeling where I get left out in a few things and there just kinda makes me feel erm left out. Sometimes, I struggle with my inner thoughts and wonder why am I being left out.

"Maybe I'm not really liked around."
"Maybe they find me too far to contact."
"Maybe I'm no longer wanted?"
"Maybe I grew distant?

This questions and statements tend to hound me whenever I feel left out. It's just sometimes I wonder why we even need friendships. As they tend to grow apart, as time take place. So far, I have yet to find one that really I mean really sticks to me and you know ask on how I am and catch-up.

It feels like I'm really alone sometimes and it's getting harder to deal with such things since the mind has a lot of more questions and possible answers. It's a pain to see friends going or hanging out with friends and you kinda watch from afar and wondered was it ever possible for me to be there with them and treated with like one of them?

I wondered if Grace felt it this way, but I know the ending for hers is a sad one. So how would I avoid such a end? It's always a pain to know that once the meeting or outing with friends is over, I feel that I probably will not have just great time with them anymore.

Maybe, it's after all this years of being alone and the feeling of being letdown too many times, that I became to always expect things to go downhill after a fun time? Maybe I am lack of attention that makes me feel this way. I'm rather tired and just wish I had some sort of emotional support that I can cling upon to.

Even I approached the exams and holidays with a heavy spirit knowing full well that I just won't be called out or even given a proper motivation for the next exams. It's just maybe that I'm mentally and physically stressed out inside of me.

I know I can place my hope in God, but honestly, I just don't feel like it. I think that doubt can play a role in such things.