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For all you have visited and check frequently,

apologies for never updating for the last few months or weeks. Truth to be told, I have lost my inspiration to blog about anything and rather keep it to myself.

Well, I may update, when I have the time or I feel like it. Most of it is devoted to doing random things.

Cheers...
-ZS-

Probably lost a few pounds...

All right people, I'm currently down with food poisoning. So I should recovering in a day or two (hopefully).

I was supposed to do a post about those who wished me Happy Birthday, but that will have to be on a hold till I can actually concentrate to do it.

I vomited six times in 8 hours so yeah that's a new record for me. Had lots of gas (which are mostly gone by now).

Also I'm facing dehydration due to constant traveling for the last few days and this result in me having a fever now (for this first time over three years!!)

So yeah, that it's for now. God, I love how my body will look like after not eating and vomiting.

-ZS-

Is Being Good Enough?

Often I hear friends of mine telling me I'm a good person because I do a lot of nice things. But really, when I seat back and reflect upon my soul and conscience. I'm not even the slightest good person I can look for. Sure there are some qualities that I am proud of. But, if I were to continue on my road on leading a purposeful life which is one that has to be constantly growing and improving myself, I'm no where near there.

When examining myself, I still lie, cheat, get angry easily at some people and still do all sort of things, all these are not the attribute that I hard to get rid it off. Of course some people might say, "Don't be too hard on yourself, not everyone is perfect," but what's the point of just being at my current state when my goal as a Christian, a supposed follower of Christ is suppose to STRIVE hard to be as Christ like as possible.

The problem is that, too many people are out there waiting to be saved. But, what is the point of going to them and telling all the "nice" words to them about Christ and how we try to live Christ-like when I still am not right with my walk with God. It's the whole point of being a hypocrite that hinders me as a Christian who is supposes to live like Him but not Him. I still remember the words from Pastor Edmund Chan during the Discipleship Conference. He says "People love Jesus Christ, but not many are like Jesus Christ." These words alone just shake me. As everyday, when I walk out the doors of my room or even being in my room I need to remember that I am watched not by God, but also the people around me.

You see, it is tough to be a Christian. Even with all the blessings that may come from God, it does come with a price. As I remember reading in the Old Testament. God will only bless the children of Israel when they follow and obey his commandments. If not, He will send curses that will not only effect me but until my children's children. This alone shows that in order to get the blessings that I want from God, I must first put right with myself.

I also do fear the day when I fall to be a lukewarm Christian which is not an area to be. Even as stated by God in the book of Revelations, He prefers either someone who is cold or warm rather than lukewarm. It is generally hard, but hey, I signed up for this ride and I'm not going to go back on it now. So, to end here's a poem that I should remember about:

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.  I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.  When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.  I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.  Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.  My family and I could have made an impact on our town.  Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.  ~Author Unknown

-ZS-

So ends the year of alignment, what's next?

So end's the year of alignment...

My 2008 was a mixture of everything a normal teen will take. A mixture of good and bad, happy and sad moments, fun and depressing moments.

As I sit down and finally take time to type this out, I am reminded that I'm ALIVE to be typing this post. As I was at church celebrating the last day of 2008, I am reminded that I should be thankful of all my events in this year.

So here goes a list of what I can think of to give my thanks:

1. Thanks to God who has sustain me the entire year with His strength, His undying love, His comfort when I'm down, His wisdom, His never ending mercy on my life. To the opportunites that I am able to share my wisdom to some people and to the times where I could impact other people lives. Without you, I wouldn't be typing this and remembering that I give thanks to you.
   
2. To all my friends who has stuck to me the entire year, to all the moments we shared laughing and having fun to the times when I needed a ear to listen to my thoughts and rants.
   
3. To the great friends, those who has somehow impacted my live in ways that makes me want to be a much better person (Joel, Trisha, J. Chu, Phoebe, Marwan, Deborah Heng, Pamela Lai, May Choo, Paul Leong)
4. To Joel, who has always taught me many things and the many times we share talking about the Word. From the wise teachings that he has taught me to the times we had times talking about the Word and to the great eye openers that are in the Bible. I hope that we will always maintain this relationship and grow a stronger bond in the future
   
5. To Trisha, who is one of the best encouragement and comforter during the times I need someone to talk to. To also become another one of pet sisters to which I hope we can always be one way both a supporter and encouragement to one another.
6. To J.Chu, as one of great friends from the start of the year. To the crazy times and stuff that we did, I'll cherish those moments. To the late nights that we had talking just random stuff, to singing each other Sweeney Todd (Lol), to being a friend who taught has taught me to not shoot my mouth too much XD. Even though we may grown a distant, I do hope one day where we can be where we were earlier last year :)
   
7. To Phoebe, who I had fun being with such friend. To the times talking really fun stuff and living with your "greatness". To the times we had over the small disagreements that I can never win which always turn out to be fun. Cheers to your greatness and the thanks for the ever encouragment to make me study harder.
   
8. To Marwan, who turned out to be one of the best (and only) Iraqi friend I had. To the times where you will entertain me with your acting skills and your passion for videoing things. To teaching me some great games, that I learned to enjoy and watching you in awe when I turned out to be good? Hahaha... to that, a great friend who has entertained me throughout the year.
9. To Paul, who was willing to take me as a student. Is hard to believe that the timing was so precise when I going to start looking for a teacher in drums. As a teacher who has enough patience to teach me (and again if I forget) and high hopes for me to play as a drummer. To the many times he had to nag me to practice more (lol). And as a friend, from high school so that we can sometimes reminiscence about some friends.
10. To Deborah, whom I found a new friend that I could talk some college stuff which I find it difficult to share. To the times where we both pour our rants to each other about assignments and exams. To also an almost trip to Malacca which didn't work out in the end lol. To hopes that we can do another sometime soon.
    
11. To both Pam and May who we manage to overcome time to become great friends again like once we were so many years. To the many meetings that we had, to catch up with one another and have fun talking, to finally an outing where we enjoy not just us but a few more old friends that we couldn't meet up.
12. To my family both blood and not related, who has encouraged me when I needed encouragement. The love showed to me by my parents. Thank you.

One of my proudest moment in my year of alignment was that I managed to finish at least one journal book of my devotion. Though I didn't manage to finish the entire devotion book but nevertheless it was an achievement which I couldn't achieve for the pass few years.

Also, that I have pass my P license and I am not a fully competent driver. I thank God that even though I had quite a few accidents in my two years time, I am grateful that I finish it without receiving a single demerit to my license and I will always give thanks that I passed my driving exam when I could have failed a second time.

My year of aligment is not a perfect one, but it's a start in my story in this world. I do know now that in my walk with God that I lack the ability to pray. I somehow find myself struggling in just like spending time talking to God.

To one of the greatest lesson I was taught and will most likely never forget which is that not everyone will become a leader by title. This lesson was taught to me by Joel who showed me in the James 3:1 "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment." I have learn that I need not to be a leader by title but just a person who serve the Living God and when I serve Him, I will surely one way or another lead people in ways that I could not see.

As the year starts a new, I began this year with hopes that I can be a better person in terms of spiritual and character. That I strive to become more Christ like everyday.

I welcome the Year of Influence!!!