Bit down...

Bit feeling a bit more than the usual downess lately. It's this feeling where I get left out in a few things and there just kinda makes me feel erm left out. Sometimes, I struggle with my inner thoughts and wonder why am I being left out.

"Maybe I'm not really liked around."
"Maybe they find me too far to contact."
"Maybe I'm no longer wanted?"
"Maybe I grew distant?

This questions and statements tend to hound me whenever I feel left out. It's just sometimes I wonder why we even need friendships. As they tend to grow apart, as time take place. So far, I have yet to find one that really I mean really sticks to me and you know ask on how I am and catch-up.

It feels like I'm really alone sometimes and it's getting harder to deal with such things since the mind has a lot of more questions and possible answers. It's a pain to see friends going or hanging out with friends and you kinda watch from afar and wondered was it ever possible for me to be there with them and treated with like one of them?

I wondered if Grace felt it this way, but I know the ending for hers is a sad one. So how would I avoid such a end? It's always a pain to know that once the meeting or outing with friends is over, I feel that I probably will not have just great time with them anymore.

Maybe, it's after all this years of being alone and the feeling of being letdown too many times, that I became to always expect things to go downhill after a fun time? Maybe I am lack of attention that makes me feel this way. I'm rather tired and just wish I had some sort of emotional support that I can cling upon to.

Even I approached the exams and holidays with a heavy spirit knowing full well that I just won't be called out or even given a proper motivation for the next exams. It's just maybe that I'm mentally and physically stressed out inside of me.

I know I can place my hope in God, but honestly, I just don't feel like it. I think that doubt can play a role in such things.

Grief...

Today a friend of mine lost of one his good friends...

His name is Jason, a great friend who I come to know during our homeschool days. He lost a girl that he was interested in. I urged you all to visit his blog to give him words of encouragement and pray for his well being.

His link is here.

A song I found very meaningful during these times.

The song is called Held by Natalie Grant which introduce by Su Yen.



-ZS-

Influencial friends...

Today, being uber hyped. I went crazy and spam at various blog I visit. And passing by this blog by the name of Paul Leong(boyboy), I saw a nice blog post about friends. And said to myself "Awww so nice picture and so much dust on his blog." XD

So yeah, *drum roll*

AH CHU!!!


who is also the president of Life College... I mean the student council of Life College. Did I mention he also is a talented singer who has wrote Entangled the Musical and is currently helping out also in planning for our college camp and our college prom at the year end? Also he is talented pianist and chunted MASS COMM STUDENT???

Facts:

1. First friend to ever hit an archive on MSN chat history.
2. First friend to ever plan a holiday (but never came true. LOL)
3. First friend to be uber spontaneous to go watch a movie. (I mean come on who else can yes to 1 night before the movie and go the very next day.)
4. Likes to work and eat a LOT (OMG @@)
5. Enjoys Crys cupcakes and J.CO
6. Working on an album at err the age of 19? (None of circles of friend does that)
7. Loves to eat and has brought me to places that I can never imagined going there.
8. One of my most impacting friends when it comes to my studies.
9. Tend to be repetitive in MSN and during coursework (Your chats if u know what i meant, now put that pitchfork down.)
10. HAS a blog here.

Pheebs!!!

who is the uber smart girl from the CAVE!!! Is fun to hangout with if you stand her greatness and awesomeness. Still, she's fun to hangout with XD. And with great personality comes great erm erm BEAUTY XD.

Facts:

1. Okay la she's from Gombak to those who can't guess...
2. She sings darn well (makes me pathetic cuz I really can't sing that well ><)
3. She's smart!!! Always toping at every class. My dream is to be on par with her in terms of studies.
4. She's not single for those who wants to know...
5. Likes to play sudoku.
   
6. One of my few friends who sleep before midnight.
7. Maintains a very healthy diet which amazes to this day.
8. Likes MAMEE!!! (the junk food)
9. Also a great motivator and impact to my studies
10. She also has a blog but rarely updated sadly.

And next is Joel!!!

who is my ex- cell leader and a good friend in my spiritual life. Use to belong to Inti College University but has move on to University of New South Wales. He has an almost perfect record on his studies with majority A and a few B+ in Electrical Engineering (@@)

Facts:

1. Became my 2nd CG leader in CYZ.
2. Was one of the youngest leader to ever get such a position.
3. Won the Astro Scholarship
4. Speaks about VERY deep stuff. (We never did leave the CG unconfused before)
5. He likes to have a good debate
6. Always sees error in himself even though.
7. He's very real about himself, he tells her how hard he strives to be do his QT (Quiet Time)
   
8. Asks what looks like to be simple questions yet are hard to explain.
9. Has encourage to be a better character and almost my spiritual life.
10. He blog's here

And there we go I'm done. Even my mom is nagging about me blogging now @@

Cheers...

-ZS-


All pictures are taken from their respective blogs. I DO not owed them for I shall fear people flamming me. Please do not attack the blogger with pitchforks and grass cutter and all other sharp objects.